About 5 percent of adults suffer from depression at any given point in time. If your spouse is under stress, experiencing a major loss or has an anxiety problem it places him or her at a higher risk.

Depression also can run in families, so assess the history of psychiatric problems in your partners family. It is important to be aware of signs of depression because it can not only affect your relationship with each other, but also the well-being of your kids.

If one or more of these signs of depression persist in your spouse, discuss the need to seek help with him or her:

Frequent sadness, tearfulness or crying,

Feelings of futility or hopelessness,

A decreased interest in activities; or inability to enjoy previously favorite activities,

Persistent feelings of boredom or low energy,

Withdrawal or poor communication with others,

Feelings of low self esteem or inappropriate guilt,

An over-sensitivity to rejection or failure,

Increased irritability, anger, or hostility,

An increased frequency of relationship conflicts,

Frequent complaints of stress-induced illnesses, such as headaches or stomachaches,

Frequent absences from work or poor performance there,

Impaired memory or concentration,

A major change in eating and/or sleeping patterns,

Unusual talk of divorce or the futility of life,

Thoughts or expressions of suicide or any other self destructive behaviors.

A spouse who used to enjoy doing things with you may now spend most of her free time alone or isolating. Things that were once interesting and enjoyable now bring little joy to a depressed husband or wife.

Men and women who are depressed sometimes say they wish they were dead or may talk about suicide. Consequently, they can be considered at increased risk. They may also abuse alcohol or other mind-altering substances as a way to feel better.

Spouses who frequently cause trouble or create dissension at home may actually be depressed, but not know it. Because your partner may not always seem sad in a typical sense, you may not realize that his or her troublesome behavior is actually a sign of depression.

However, when asked in a kindly and sensitive way, your partner may sometimes state that he or she does actually feel unhappy or sad. Early diagnosis and psychological counseling are essential.

Depression is a real problem that requires professional help. Comprehensive treatment often includes both individual and family therapy. It may also include the use of antidepressant medication. For help, contact a clinical psychologist. He or she will diagnose and treat your spouses depression and, in some cases, even include you in the treatment process.