When you join an online dating site, you need to be aware that your writing skills will play the most important part of how you communicate. Almost all of the early interaction online takes place in the form of written word. You will “write” things out when you send an email or chat online.

Writing about ourselves is often the hardest thing for each of us to do. It's difficult for most people to sell themselves. People are generally too modest and it's difficult for them to highlight their personality traits. It's much easier to talk about others than about ourselves.

Writing your online profile is the first thing that you need to do when you sign up for a dating service. This goes with your picture and it helps other members to get an idea about who you are. There are various articles out there to assist you with this, including one I've written with a link at the bottom of this page, but I want to focus on what to do once you've completed that process.

The next task you need to work on is developing an email approach that you are going to send to profiles that interest you. Take time and pay attention in great detail when you craft this. This is your sales pitch, and you are trying to sell yourself enough so that the person feels inclined to respond to your email.

You are going to create a “template” to use for all of your initial contact emails. What I mean by this is you only need to go through this process once. Take some time and sit down and write a brief introduction about yourself. Focus on keeping it to two paragraphs (one is preferred) which highlight you and your interests. Make it direct and give just enough information that the recipient will want to know just a little bit more.

You are going to continually use this “template” for each email approach you send out, but make sure to take a few minutes to really personalize each email. The last thing you want to do is just send your profile out without personalizing it. The easiest way to do this is to make a reference to something that they mentioned in their profile. If you can incorporate this into your email, your response rate will increase exponentially.

Which email would you be more inclined to respond to?

Option #1: Hi, I think you look like a nice lady and I'd like to get in touch with you.

Option #2: I just saw your profile on (name site) and you look like just the type of lady I'd be interested in learning a little more about. You mentioned how you were an outdoor person in your profile, and that's exactly how I would describe myself. I enjoy………(fill in the rest).

Once you begin browsing at various profiles, start to take some notes and come up with a shortlist of profiles (7-10) that seems to be of interest. Send an email out to each of those profiles.

You don't want to put all of your eggs in one basket. Remember that the focus of these online dating sites is to get your profile in front of as many people as possible. You are looking to initiate discussions with as many quality singles as you can.

One last thing, don't get your hopes up too high. You need to anticipate that your email will not illicit a response. Just because you sent an email does not guarantee that you will receive a response. People don't always respond to their email, and they have many reasons why.

Once you've completed this, the next step is to head over to the chat rooms and see what's going on over there.