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[C72]Can Save A Marriage

by Anthony Bradley, Ant

Married Couples should expect to have great marital happiness and fulfilment but sometimes things do go wrong in the course of the marriage and then the services of a qualified marriage counselor may be required to help them to identify their problems and get their marriage back on a firm footing again.

There are lots of reasons why people who are married need to go through marriage counseling. Human nature being as varied as it is means that there are endless psychological permutations between two different people and when conflicts in their marriage occur it can be very difficult to handle the varying emotions and outlooks of the two people involved. The vast majority of marriages are confronted with difficulties at some point and it is sad to note that many marriages succumb to them and end ignominiously in the divorce court.

Marriage counseling can be fairly effective in a lot of cases and can often prevent a marriage from ending in divorce but some marriages have been in such a bad state for so long that they cannot be saved no matter how hard one tries. A marriage is basically a partnership when all is said and done, and for it to be saved requires that both partners do sincerely want the marriage to work out else there is very little point in trying to save it.

Unfortunately, marriage counseling is often sought only when the marriage is in crisis and it may have taken quite some time to get to that stage. Many married couples have kept their problems bottled-up inside but eventually there is a spark which makes these problems burst into life and makes the couple realise that something drastic has to be done to prevent the marriage from finishing up in the divorce court. That is when the services of a qualified marriage counselor may be needed to save the marriage.

Usually, the wife and husband go to a number of counseling sessions together to discuss their marriage problems. The marriage counselor will try to help them to understand their problem and then the marriage counselor will work with them to find solutions to the problem.

Research into marriage counselling has indicated that it has beneficial effects on the mental and physical health of an individual and can improve the relationship between a husband and wife.

Simply going to a marriage counselor, however, is no guarantee that the marriage can be saved because nobody can make two people in conflict get along together unless there are some changes made in the attitude of at least one, if not both, of the two people involved. No marriage can be rescued if the couple fail to suspend their egos and realise that they may be partly to blame for the marriage breakdown.

In the final analysis, like most things in life, it will take constant attention to keep something in good order and marriages are no different in that respect. Remember this and you should never have to see a marriage counselor.

The vows that fuse a man and a woman together are very seldom referred back to for reference. "For richer or for poorer" are the words that can overcome the financial burdens that plague our homesteads. If the marriage consists of frequent arguments relating to situations that credit seem to limit, just maybe a sign that a divorce consultation is not necessary. It could mean that your credit situation needs some financial enlightenment and optimistic uplifting. I have heard that most marriages get most of their financial information from unqualified individuals like the hair dresser, the single friend who has never been married or the family member who already has bad credit. The bottom line is, stand true to your vows and know that if credit is the lagging factor in a marriage, you can overcome it.

First, when you find in your marriage that credit problems are limiting the things that help life flow much smoother. That is the time to stop the madness and begin the process to get what you want when you need it. For example buying a new vehicle instead of used so the family is not having weekend outings stuck on the road due to a break down. Please, don't misunderstand the idea set forth, I believe there is nothing wrong with material things as long as it is within the financial limits of you and your family's overall goal. Once you notice that your credit status could be the root issue, discuss it with your spouse and take action to get your credit in order. I have always found asking your spouse for help in troubleshooting a problem is a bonding experience.

Through taking action, a whole new perspective on marriage can emerge. The next step that needs to be made is important because a financial plan needs to be set forth. The financial plan consists of budgeting and realizing where, as a couple, your creditworthiness lies in the standards that are acceptable. Once the budgeting and goal setting for your credit is established, action is needed on both sides of the relationship. If both sides are on board with the plan you have now taken the focus off the financial problems and placed attention on solving the financial picture. It is motivating when you and your spouse now see hope in the horizon and know that just because credit has limited many situations it should not limit the love that was established with just a "hello."

Lastly, creating a budget is simple. The budget can be created by calculating all your monthly payments with expenses and compare that calculation with your income. Now you will know approximately how much of your income should remain after all your monthly payments and expenses are paid. This calculation is important because it will reveal how much you can save for retirement or put towards that vacation the family has dreamed of the past 5 years. A simple budget can create everlasting happy moments and is something to look forward to tomorrow and the next day, instead, of arguing over medical bills on the credit report. Now that you understand the money saving aspect let's understand credit problems. If credit is becoming a challenge to acquire then get your credit reports, a red pen and start your own elimination of derogatory items on your credit report that would improve your credit situation. Take action by getting the items verified with the credit bureau and sit and wait for the results which can take around 1 to 2 months to get resolved. If this is a bit to much to maintain seek help and investigate the credit services company before you retain their services.

By now, the optimism should have been revitalized and a new purpose for the beautiful marriage bloomed. You can reap short term success and create a positive environment for a better future. Never, never give up on the beauty of marriage. Marriage does have its ups and downs and that is not a secret. Life is much more pleasing though when you do have your spouse next to you to enjoy life as it comes day by day, for better and for richer.

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