Bodacious. Whenever I say that word it always cracks a smile on another person's face. What comes to mind when you think of the word bodacious? I've heard everything-wild, colorful, spontaneous, energetic, strong, fearless, courageous, assertive, open, free, gutsy, tenacious, confident, and positive. And the one many people think but don't usually say-ta-ta's.

Being bodacious became a personal rallying cry during my ten years at AOL where I came up with my own definition of bodacious: the courage to be in charge of your life! Being in charge of your life starts with being authentic with yourself, about who you are and what you want. It then takes courage to follow through. When you know just what bodacious means, then you can start spotting bodacious behaviors and the Bodacious Women who demonstrate them. Which is key to becoming a Bodacious Woman yourself. Why? Because, sister, we can't do it alone! Well, we can try, but what fun is that?

First and foremost we need understanding and role-models of what being a Bodacious Woman looks like. Just as important, we need to be around other Bodacious Women.

You remember your mother saying "choose your friends wisely". Life is too short and requires too much of us to be spending lots of time with people or in situations that don't cheer us on to the best we can be and go for our dreams.

Life coach Laura Berman Fort gang says there are three types of people in our lives: those that build us up, those that drain us and those that remain about neutral ? they don't give much but they don't take away much, either. She also says that to be healthy we need the majority of our relationships to be building us up, cheering us on, and that we need to eliminate or minimize the impact of draining relationships. Deliberating creating this kind of support in our lives is a strategy for sanity.

In short, we need to seek out bodacious friends and stay away from whiners.

So, in the spirit of not wasting any time, how can you tell in ten seconds if a woman bodacious? My two second answer: how she carries herself. If you pay attention, you will get a sense of someone by their non-verbal behaviors before they even say a word.

I start by noticing how a woman carries her body. She has a presence about her and she isn't apologetic about occupying space. Her head is up, her shoulders are back, and more often than not she's moving towards another person to introduce herself. She's the first one to extend her hand or give a hug. She doesn't just talk with the person, she's right there engaged with them. She's connecting with them, particularly by looking at them with interest and attention. A Bodacious Woman usually has a smile on her face or is about to get one because she smiles and laughs easily. If she utters any words they are authentic and positive. That's it, ten seconds are up! But, I've spotted a bodacious compadre!

Copyright (c) 2006 Mary Foley