And trust in those relationships is often the acid test of how well progress is made, especially in the early stages.



Although you may be recommended by others, usually a good sign, meeting up with someone for the first time is often the initial opportunity to make a name for yourself, literally.

So, would it be good to know some easy steps to take to make the new relationship go well?

Of course it would. So here are ten tips to help you on your way.

Imagine it's the first conversation you're having with someone you would like to have on your side. These small steps in how you talk to, and listen to them will make a huge difference...

1. Listen well and pay full attention.

By paying attention to them they immediately feel valued and important. This is critical in them believing that you are worth the time and effort. It's also a matter of courtesy. When someone else is speaking it's the right thing to do to, listen patiently and being interested.

2. You are more interested in other people than yourself.

It's almost impossible to do completely and if you do it well, showing that it's how you are, you will make people like you more. And in the big picture, seeing this as a way of looking after your own interests is far wiser than short term actions.

3. You keep promises and do what you say you will.

By always being upfront with what you say you will do - and then delivering, you will be much more attractive to most people. 'Dependable', 'reliable' and 'committed', will be words to describe how others see you and the way you are.

4. You are a great friend when others are in need.

Whilst this needs some care (or you spend you life sorting out everyone else's problems), being there for others is a great asset to have. Their needs are often to be listened to and therefore they need someone to talk to. If you are good at this, and help them find solutions to their own problems (not you finding solutions for them all the time), they will thank you and value you.

5. You share resources and put the people you know in touch with each other.

Where you can be a resource for each other, then the network builds into a shared support and resource group. I can't think of the number of times I have been able to help someone with something that I know and can share. And I know I can now call on others to help me too!

6.You aren't judgemental, but very objective (fact-based) when dealing with others.

It's way easier to help others if you stick to fact, rather than supposition, assumptions, judgement and opinion. Hey, there's nothing wrong with any of these - in fact we all use them all the time to live our lives. It's just when you apply it to someone else directly, that you can find they resent it and the relationship falters.

7. You talk less than you listen (see a pattern here!).

This is an old and very wise concept. You have two ears and one mouth, when you want the best from a relationship for you, then use them in that proportion. You will struggle to build a business or career relationship (or any other for that matter), when you keep yourself center stage. People want to be heard and they are prepared to give a lot to have someone hear them. That's your role!

8. You make time for others when you say you will.

There ain't nothing worse than people who say they will be there and then they aren't - or they cancel last minute. If you say you are going to do something; meet someone; reply to something, then do it. As you get better at recognising those times when you miss out, you'll see the steps you need to take to avoid a recurrence. That learning will shape how well you deliver.

9. You say 'yes' when you can. And 'no' when you can't.

Sometimes when we are trying to make relationships work, we agree to things which make us uncomfortable; or we know we are going to struggle with; or we regret. In these cases it might have been better to decline in the first place. Saying 'no' is sometimes much better than 'yes'. Conversely, when someone offers to help out, or do something for you, be prepared to say 'yes' to them sometimes. It really builds the relationship, even though you might not have needed their help!

10. You are encouraging, enthusiastic, supportive and challenging with those you know.

Being a good friend or colleague used to be enough. In the fast-paced changing world we work in it's time to raise the stakes. Friends are sometimes too generous; kind even. And this means they won't call the shots when they need to. Really good friends need to make sure they are that and the trusting relationship they have with others is strong enough for them to be honest and true. You need to be able to encourage, enthuse about, support and challenge each when your partner needs it.

Using these 10 skills when networking and even just conversing with anyone will make them like you and that makes your job of building your network that much easier.