Our teenagers' lives are often a closed book to us and no matter how hard we try they simply will not let us open the book and read what is inside. But how are we supposed to protect out children and help them to develop into self-sufficient and confident adults if we do not know what they are doing, where they are going, who they are hanging out with, what they are thinking and how they are feeling?



Well, here are four tips that might help to open that closed book at least enough to take a glimpse inside.

Tip 1 - Start when your kids are young. It is much easier to keep a relationship rolling along than it is to start it up in the first place and this is especially true when it comes to our kids. If we start literally from the day they are born and build a close and strong relationship then life will be fairly easy when they reach those difficult teenage years. However, if we maintain our distance from our kids, or simply do not have time to get close to them, when they are young then it is going to become increasingly difficult to do so as they get older.

Tip 2 - Look for common ground. We all have things which we like to do on our own or without our partner and one partner might enjoy playing bridge with friends while the other is out playing golf or fishing. But, it is also important for partners to share interests and to have some things, such as cooking, gardening or hiking which they enjoy doing together. This is not simply true of partners and should also extend to parents and children. So, find something, and preferably two or three things, which you and your kids can enjoy together and which gives you a common interest to talk about.

Tip 3 - Listen to what your children say and keep an open mind. The teenage years are a time when children tend to form opinions very quickly and often without an adequate understanding of the subject to hand. This in turn means that they will often come out with comments which you find concerning or which you simply do not like or agree with. Take the time however to listen to what they have to say and try not to be judgmental. There is nothing wrong with telling them that do not agree with them or do not approve of something as long as you explain why and do not turn what you are saying into an attack on them.

Tip 4 - Spend time with your children. One of the main concerns for most teenagers is that they do not get to spend enough time with their parents and this is often seen as a case of their parents simply not caring enough about what they are doing or how they are feeling. One significant result of this is that teenagers also often feel that they cannot talk to their parents when they have a problem and want some help.

Many of us lead busy lives but were we talking about a client instead of our own child you can bet your bottom dollar that we would make the time needed to spend with that client. Well, our children are far more important than any client and so it should not really be too difficult to set aside some time each day, or at the very least each week, to devote ourselves solely to each of our children for a while.

There are many ways to make sure that we are spending enough time with our kids and often it is simply a matter of organizing ourselves for efficiently. One simple way to achieve our aims is to make sure that the whole family sits down to dinner each evening and that this is a time to both eat and talk. Another way to spend time with your teen is to drive him to school each morning rather than let him ride the bus. Yet another suggestion is to play sport together once or twice a week. There are countless ways to make time for your teenagers if you put your mind to it.