Millions of couples endure the nightmare of relationship breakdown every year and the divorce rate shows no sign of slowing. It seems that many people find it very difficult to form lasting, happy relationships and here are 5 common mistakes that kill relationships. Get rid of them from your relationship and you'll enjoy a happier love life.



Effective communication between lovers is a cornerstone of every successful relationship. Communicating wants and needs clearly to each other reduces misunderstandings and confusion and brings clarity. But many people have a somewhat silly notion that their partners "should automatically know what I want" and get frustrated and angry when their partner doesn't deliver. OK, as much as you wish, people are not telepathic mind readers and expecting them to be is unrealistic. So let each other know your wants and needs clearly and in a non-demanding way and watch your relationship grow stronger.

Keeping the spark alive in a relationship is something many couples fail to do. Contentment sets in, you start to take your partner for granted and gradually, the spark fades and dies. It's so easy to fall into the contentment trap and the result is you stop making an effort for your partner. Your appearance changes, you don't go out as much, and lots of other activities you used to do have been ditched. The mystery has gone, the challenge has gone, the spark just isn't there! Keep it alive by making the effort to do new things, to enjoy new adventures and remember to do things separate from each other as well as with each other and you'll reap the rewards.

John Lennon told us "all you need is love" and while it's a great song, it simply isn't true. Successful relationships require more than love if they are to last. People aren't perfect and all of us have our quirks and habits that can grate on our partners. Life also throws us some pretty trying times and getting through these times takes determination and hard work and many relationships flounder during such times. Along with the changes we all have do deal with such as children and aging to name but two, you can see that love - while it must be there - isn't the only ingredient needed for a successful relationship.

Neediness is a real problem for relationships. Neediness is needing to be with someone to have a life. A needy person puts huge pressure on the relationship because in needing to have someone around all the time, they suffocate their partners. Neediness communicates all the wrong things about a person: dependent, insecure, approval seeking, fear-driven, low self esteem and over time, these all take a heavy toll on a relationship. Better is to have a life of your own and to be happy whether or not you are in a relationship. This removes the neediness virus, keeps you fresh and interesting and improves the relationship because you aren't suffocating your partner.

One of the most destructive forces you can introduce to your relationship is guilt. Guilt is used by to exert control over someone to gain more value. It works by reminding your partner of their shortcomings - an affair, a mistake, comparing them to "better" people in other relationships, keeping score of all their failings no matter how slight - to achieve a desired outcome. E.g. "Bev is such a great wife to Mike, she always has a nice meal ready for him when he comes home. You obviously don't love me because you never cook for me." It is such a nasty game, it really is. Never play the guilt game with partners, and never accept such poor behavior. Guilt has no place in a loving relationship - ever.

That's 5 great ways for you to improve your relationship and enjoy more happiness. The more of them you put to use, the happier your relationship will be and the longer it will last.