A romantic relationship is hard to find. Ideally, husbands and wives are best friends as well as lovers, sharing common dreams, fears, hopes and interests. But according to Stacey Oliker, sociologist and marriage expert, the gap between true intimacy and real life remains wide. Her studies find that both husbands and wives tend to fill this gap by being more intimate with close friends instead of with each other.



To ensure a romantic relationship, it doesn't mean married people shouldn't have close friends. However, it does mean we must never get complacent in how we show our love, respect and understanding to our spouses. Here are two ways you can make your marriage a more romantic relationship.

Romantic Relationship Advice ? 1: Focus on Commonalities

A romantic relationship needs cultivated intimacy, nurtured with shared emotions, experiences, and beliefs. While happily married couples can rattle off their differences, they will also always make statements about the things they have in common. The more couples focus on these things they have in common, the deeper intimacy is allowed to grow.

Think about the times you have felt the most connected with your spouse, and make a mental list of all the things that you share in common. One of the best exercises anyone can do to make their marriage a more romantic relationship is to focus on what you do have, and not on what you wish were different. Remember, it's not about trying to change your spouse, making him or her think, feel and behave more like you. Instead, try to understand these differences and not pass judgment.

Romantic Relationship Advice ? 2: Spend time together

In order to make your marriage into the most romantic relationship possible, you must nurture your love for each other. This means getting to know each other better and spending time together. Studies indicate that marital happiness is highly correlated with the amount of time spent together.

Plan together, and you'll find that the planning takes time and effort. These shared plans do so much good for a marriage because they acknowledge the importance of your union and give you a sense of future together. Busy couples should actually schedule time together, such as going on lunch dates or turning off the TV at night, to enjoy each other's company. This way, you are intentionally connecting and showing each other attention and appreciation, factors that are crucial to a romantic relationship.

Sometimes, it's the little things that mean so much in a romantic relationship. Small gestures sweeten a random moment and build intimacy. Greet each other with genuine affection, a kind word and a kiss. If you practice these ideas, you will quickly see how you can light the fire of intimacy in your marriage and rekindle your romantic relationship.