The information presented here about the High "S" in the DISC System offers you the opportunity to look at your sales prospects and see which of them fits this type best. Using the framwork shown here, you will more effectively relate to the High S and not only close more sales with this prospect, but be aware of how to KEEP this client on an ongoing basis. For information on all 4 DISC types, see the resource information shown.



Using this easy system will help you to not only enjoy your work as a sales professional, but to dramatically enhance your effectiveness and your sales commissions.

The Relater: The High "S" in DISC

An Overview

The Relater is open and indirect, relatively unassertive, warm, and reliable. Others sometimes see Relaters as compliant, softhearted and acquiescent.

Relaters seek security. They take action and make decisions slowly. This pace stems from their desire to avoid risky or unknown situations. Before they take action or make a decision, they have to know how other people feel about their decision.

Relaters tend to be the most people-oriented of all the four styles. Having close, friendly, personal, first name relationships with others is one of their most important objectives. They dislike interpersonal conflict so much that they sometimes say what they think other people want to hear. They have natural counseling skills and are extremely supportive. Their theme is, ?Notice how well- liked I am.?

Relaters tend to be good, active listeners and generally develop relationships with people who are also good listeners. As a result, Relaters have strong networks of people who are willing to be mutually supportive. You often feel good just being with a Relater.

Relaters focus on getting acquainted and building trust. They are irritated by pushy, aggressive behavior. They question, ?How will it affect my personal circumstances and the camaraderie of the group?? They are cooperative, steady workers and excellent team players.

The primary strengths of Relaters are relating to, caring for, and loving others. Their primary weaknesses are that they are somewhat unassertive, overly sensitive and easily bullied.

Ideal occupations for the Relater cluster around the helping professions such as counseling, teaching, social work, the clergy, psychology, nursing, parenting and human resource development.

In the business environment, Relaters like others to be courteous, friendly and accepting of their share of the responsibility. In a social environment, they like others to be genuine and friendly.

Relaters? desks contain family pictures and other personal items. Their office walls have personal slogans, family or group photos, serene pictures or mementos. Relaters are high-touch in a high-tech world. They give their offices a friendly, warm ambience and arrange seating in a side-by-side, cooperative way.

To achieve more balance and to develop behavioral flexibility, Relaters need to say ?no? occasionally; attend to the completion of tasks without over-sensitivity to the feelings of others; be willing to reach beyond their comfort zone to set goals that require some stretch and risk; and to delegate to others.

RELATER STYLE

?Slow at taking action and making decisions

?Likes close, personal relationships

?Dislikes interpersonal conflict

?Supports and ?actively? listens to others

?Weak at goal setting and self-direction

?Has excellent ability to gain support from others

?Works slowly and cohesively with others

?Seeks security and the need to belong

?Good counseling skills

UNDER STRESS, RELATERS: WILL SUBMIT

EXAMPLE of Typical response to stressful situation:

"OK, if that's the way you must have it, we'll try it."

MAY APPEAR

?Wishy Washy

?Submissive

?Passive

?Dependent

?Hesitant

?Defensive

?Indecisive

NEED

?Reassurances that they're liked

?Personal assurance

?Slow pace for comfort and security

?Relationships

To Increase Behavioral Adaptability, Relaters Need To...

?Say ?No? occasionally

?Attend to completion of tasks without over sensitivity to

others? feelings

?Take risks by stretching beyond comfort zone

?Delegate to others

?Accept necessary changes in procedure or routine

?Verbalize their feelings and thoughts to the appropriate people

RELATER ??BUSINESS BEHAVIORS

?Need to know the order of procedures

?Operate well as members of a work group

?Motivated by usual, known, and proven practices

?Oriented toward more concrete, repeatable actions

?Want order and ability in the workplace

?Focus on how and when to do things

?Work in a steady and predictable manner

?Like a long-term relationship with their fellow employees

RELATER: PREFERRED BUSINESS SITUATIONS

?Like to perform the same kinds of duties day after day

?Prefer to work cooperatively with others to achieve common

results

?Dislike taking risks

?Enjoy a stable, steady, low-key environment with few changes

?Like to know each step toward completing their duties

?Prefer to make decisions by group consensus, or other accepted practices, rather than by themselves

?Enjoy feeling like valued members of the work group

WHEN YOU ARE THE RELATER

?Stretch--take on more (or different) duties beyond your comfort

level

?Increase verbalization of your thoughts and feelings

?Speed up your actions by getting into some projects more quickly

?Desensitize yourself so that you aren't negatively affected by your colleagues' feelings to the point of affecting your own performance

?Adapt more quickly to changes or refinements of existing

practices

?Bolster your assertiveness techniques

WHEN OTHERS ARE RELATERS, HELP THEM:

?Utilize shortcuts and discard unnecessary steps

?Track their growth

?Avoid doing things the same way

?Realize there is more than one approach to tasks

?Become more open to some risks and changes

?To feel sincerely appreciated

?Speak up and voice their thoughts and feelings

?Modify the tendency to do what others tell them

?Get and accept credit and praise, when appropriate

LEADING AND MANAGING SOCIALIZERS

Encourage Relaters to update their methods

Relaters contribute stability and perseverance to their workplace. Since they work toward harmony in the office, they usually fit comfortably into the work environment, but they may become used to using the same old methods again and again.

Sometimes their procedures include steps that may have been needed when they learned the procedure, but can now be discarded. They may improve their work practices by utilizing shortcuts that eliminate extra steps.

How to develop Relaters

When she's in training for a job, she favors one-on-one, hands-on instruction with a real live human being, starting at the beginning and ending at the end. By learning each step, she generally is more comfortable with her functions.

During training and in other newer situations, she tends to observe others for a longer than average time. When she feels she can do a task, then and only then will she comfortably begin. This slower pace can frustrate Directors and Socializers, both of whom like to plunge right in with, whether they've done it before or not! So understanding that Relaters need to do things slowly can reassure the faster-paced types that the job will get done.

Get ready to be ready with Relaters. Have a step-by-step list of procedures or a working timetable/schedule at your disposal. Relaters need to feel secure in their mastery of procedures until their actions become second nature and more routine. At the same time, they prefer a pleasant and patient approach while they learn what's expected of them.

Motivating Relaters

Besides thinking they can learn to master a series of procedures, Relaters also like to feel that their relationships with others can benefit from their follow-through. So show Relaters how to strengthen their relationships with others.

Complimenting Relaters

Mention their teamwork and dependability. Or remark about how others regard them, how well they get along with co-workers, and how important their relationship-building efforts have been to the company.

Effusiveness can arouse the suspicions of Relaters, so stick to praising what they've done rather than more abstract, personal attributes. Otherwise, their modesty and your vagueness may cause them to dismiss your comments.

Counseling Relaters

Allow plenty of time to explore their thoughts and feelings so you can understand the emotional side of the situation. Relaters usually express their feelings less directly, so draw them out through questioning and listening responses.

Bear in mind this type tends to balk at sudden change, whether the change is good or bad. The key point is that the unknown disrupts their stability-motivated state. You can help reduce their fears by showing how specific changes will benefit them and their company.

Correcting Relaters

Reassure them that you only want to correct a specific behavior. Relaters tend to take things personally, so remove the something is wrong with you barrier as quickly as possible. Don't blame or judge the person; keep the conversation focused on the behavior and its appropriateness.

If the problem involves a procedure, help them learn how to improve it. Point out in a non-threatening way what they're already doing right while also emphasizing what needs changing.

Communicating with Relaters

Be ready to do more talking than listening with them, since they don't naturally feel comfortable when the limelight is focused on them.

You will want to clarify any key agenda item with them, working to stay organized and moving forward steadily but slowly as you check to make sure they both understand and accept what is being said:

Making decisions and solving problems with Relaters

In dealing with problems and decisions with this type, make sure to deal with only one subject or situation at a time, one step at a time.

To gain clarity, before moving on to other items, make sure they are ready, willing, and able to do so.

Recalling that they need stability, deal with matters calmly and in a more relaxed manner.

Encourage them to share their suggestions as to how the decision might be made in a way that is likely to add even more stability to the current conditions than already, or previously, exist.

When suggesting a different possibility to Relaters, point out how you are trying to identify ways that you can help continue to make things pleasant for them. You simply have an idea or opinion in this respect which will also help stabilize your own relationship expectations with them and which is important to you, too.

When acknowledging Relaters

When it's appropriate to reward or reinforce their behaviors, focus on how you genuinely and sincerely appreciate their willingness to work to make things good for you and others.

Approach matters in a more systematic, low-keyed, and understandable manner.

Also, point out how you have noticed they make important contributions when they take the initiative to share their own ideas, interests, and insights in helping make sure these results are achieved.

Delegating to Relaters

Relaters may be reluctant to ask others to do their own share of the work. So you could make a personal appeal to their loyalty and sense of sportsmanship.

Give them the task, state the deadlines that need to be met, and explain why it's important to do it that way.

SALES AND SERVICE STRATEGIES WITH RELATER:

?Get to know them more personally and approach them in a non-threatening, pleasant, and friendly .?.?. but professional . . . way

?Develop trust, friendship, and credibility at a??? relatively slow pace

?Ask them to identify their own emotional needs as well as their task or busness expectations

?Get them involved by focusing on the human element . . . that is, how something affects them and their relationships with others

?Avoid rushing them and give them personal, concrete assurances, when appropriate

?Communicate with them in a consistent manner on a regular basis

Relater in Social Settings

RELATER: TYPICAL SOCIAL BEHAVIOR

?Like to build ongoing relationships with a small group of people

?Want to be involved in and identified with their group

?Relate to others on a one-to-one basis . . . preferably with predictable role behavior by each person

?Prefer more casual, calming relationships

?Give and expect sincere attention

?Seek stability in their lives through practices such as conformity

RELATER: PREFERRED SOCIAL SITUATIONS

?Like to participate in the group's communication and activities

?Enjoy performing regular activities the same way, time and place

?Prefer to communicate in a conflict-free gathering of associates or friends

?Want to know how to play games or complete activities through well-defined, step-by-step procedures

?Like to feel appreciated and well-liked by others, just for who they are and what they contribute

WHEN YOU ARE THE STEADY RELATER

?Stand up for yourself when others become insistent, or belligerent

?Respond more favorably to required changes

?Occasionally vary your schedule and try new things

?Expand your circle of acquaintances by participating in activities with new people more frequently

?Respond somewhat less sensitively to others

?Occasionally confront others

?Consciously allow occasional disruption of your peace and stability

WHEN OTHERS ARE STEADY RELATERS

?Focus on a slower-paced, steady approach

?Avoid arguments and conflict

?Respond sensitively and sensibly

?Privately acknowledge them with specific, believable compliments

?Allow them to follow through on concrete tasks

?Show them step-by-step procedures

?Behave pleasantly and optimistically

?Give them stability and a minimum of change

Relater at Home

RELATERS' FAMILY BEHAVIORS

?Generally, tend to be naturally group-oriented

?Want to do things together for the satisfaction of being with others

?Enjoy customary family events: ?Every Thanksgiving at Grandma's?

?Like regularly scheduled and planned participative activities??On Wednesdays, we all go bowling.?

?Want to be shown sincere appreciation for all they do

RELATERS' PREFERRED FAMILY SITUATIONS

?Their ideal families show how much they mean to them by expressions of warmth and displays of personal appreciation

?Like to help implement family decisions

?Home life is a well-structured, stressless and peaceful retreat

?Live in the same, or similar, neighborhood all their lives

?Enjoy a lifestyle which is comfortably organized with predictable, routine schedules and activities

?No big surprises or changes disrupt them

HOW RELATERS CAN ADAPT WITH FAMILY/CHILDREN

?Communicate more in abstract terms; i.e., accept less explicit, more generalized answers, when appropriate?such as exploring the big picture, new ideas, or the point of the matter

?Make decisions on their own, or take the initiative, when appropriate

?Recognize that change is inevitable

?Speak up when they're upset about something, rather than keeping silent until they've accumulated a list of grievances and frustrations

HOW YOU CAN ADAPT TO RELATERS

?Encourage mutual dialogue on thoughts & feelings . . . good and bad

?Stress that not all situations/comments are personally directed

?Enlist their input in suggesting what tasks they can do and goals they can set on their own

?Tap their talents and encourage them to develop and grow, perhaps by seeking public recognition for them

?Help them assert themselves, when appropriate

Dating/Romance with Relater

RELATER DATING/ROMANCE CHARACTERISTICS

?Tend to cooperate and accommodate

?Like identification with the significant other

?Give and like to receive sincere attention

?Naturally operate on a one-to-one basis

?Want to familiarize themselves with the unwritten rules regarding the relationship

?Tend to view dating in a more conservative, progressive, stepwise manner

RELATERS' PREFERRED DATING/ROMANCE BEHAVIORS

?Seek approval and some sincere, steady pursuit by the other person

?The dating process proceeds in a relatively routine, expected, uneventful way . . . with few unpleasant surprises

?Prefer to participate in the different facets of the loved one's life

?Generally want to share time according to a regular, slower-paced schedule

?May prefer to avoid a stressful relationship in favor of a calm, predictable one

HOW RELATERS CAN ADAPT IN DATING/ROMANCE SITUATIONS

?Voice their opinions and thoughts, instead of deferring to their dates

?Say no, when appropriate

?Somewhat reduce their servicing tendencies to limit other person's dependence on them

?Accept some changes in relationships as natural

?Attend more to their own thoughts and feelings

?Act more assertive, when appropriate

?Understand and deal with other types' natural behaviors

HOW YOU CAN ADAPT WHEN DATING/ROMANCING A RELATER

?Encourage them to aim higher

?Support them in verbalizing their thoughts and feelings

?Share in developing more assertiveness skills

?Help them plan for some disorganization in their lives

?Show them that disagreement does not necessarily equal an argument

?Assist them in speeding up, at times