When learning how to sell better, we often hear the advice to ask questions and listen to the customer. This advice, though, is frequently given in the context of using questions to gather information helpful to the sales process, and to listen for clues that will help you convince the customer to buy. What Carnegie suggested was that the true path to being a successful salesperson, leader, or well-liked individual was not to focus on your desired outcome, but to put your attention on the other person. Most important, at the beginning, is the .



The main issue is that when you talk to someone about your business, you need to be direct, authentic, and unattached to the outcome. It is much easier then you think so why not to do a short .

When you think of questions like, "What do I say when I call Mr. Big to find out if he is ready to buy?" Do not be afraid to say: "Hello, Mr. Big, have you decided to purchase our product?" Or maybe the question is how to follow up with someone you met at last night's event who expressed some interest in your service. Try to say: "When we spoke last night, you seemed interested in my services, and I would like to continue our conversation." a

What do you do when you fear that the client doubts your qualifications? How about: "You seem a bit unsure of my qualifications to do the job, and I would like to address that. What are your concerns?"

This is all about conversations. You ask a question; they answer. They ask a question; you answer. It is like a friendly tennis match - all you have to do is keep the ball in the air, and nothing is at stake. But that is the catch, is not it? You think there is a lot at stake. What if you do not get the contract, the client, the money? So you make the conversation overly significant, put on your marketing face and your selling voice, speak someone else words... and the result is anything but direct and authentic. What impact does this have on the person you are speaking with? The opposite of a direct approach is an indirect one: devious, underhanded, sneaky (check your thesaurus). The opposite of authentic is inauthentic: phony, fraudulent, insincere. Is not this exactly what you have always been afraid of sounding like a used car salesman or telemarketer reading a script? Scripts are for rehearsals. In a meeting or on the phone, keep some talking points in front of you, but do not read. Every word should be one you would use in normal conversation - use instead of utilize; fix instead of rectify; help instead of facilitate. Get to the point quickly, and tell the truth about it. "I am just calling to introduce myself," is not only an ineffective approach, it is a lie.

Show a sincere interest in people by asking questions about their goals and problems. When you see a place where your business can help, do not hesitate to say so. Be respectful of people's time and really listen to what they say. Respond to what you heard instead of continuing to the next item on your agenda. Do not be afraid to toot your own horn while staying true to who you are.

But these are just tips for changing your behavior. The real key is in your attitude so maybe you need a better . If you can recognize that being indirect, inauthentic, or attached to the outcome is causing you to lose sales instead of make them, you will have a powerful incentive to do things differently.