We have attempted to get pregnant for the past 3 years of marriage. We actually conceived about nine months ago, but miscarried. At least we know that we're not infertile. We are now just trying and praying. Along the way, we've contemplated adoption. As we've contemplated adopting a child, I've stumbled over 3 main issues: money, love, and process. In the following paragraphs I'll go into these issues in more measure. Keep in mind that these are just my first thoughts on adoption as a possible parent. I haven't yet conducted thorough research.



Money is tight. We are still getting ourselves out of much debt due to bad spending habits during the start of our marriage. I had been wanting to put off children, but my wife gently reminded me that having a child while tight financially is better than not having a child but having more cash. Children are more important than money. We're happy to make the sacrifice. While this attitude is just fine for having your own children, I'm guessing that an adoption agency has more stringent financial requirements for those they accept. There's also the adopting fees. As of now, I don't believe we can afford adoption.

When the subject of adoption originally was mentioned in our marriage, I didn't seriously consider it. My heart has always been set on having my own children from my own seed. I've always fancied that part of the love I'd have for my child would be the knowledge that he is from me. (You got me, I'm planning for a son.) As I've thought about it more, however, I honestly trust I could love an adopted child just the same. Love is much more of an expression of the heart than a magical feeling of oneness. Additionally the knowledge that I "saved" this child would give great feelings in the process. Maybe I'd even think of myself as a hero!

A third issue I've dealt with while contemplating adoption is a fear of the long process. I regularly read negative stories of the time and money required to adopt a child. An acquaintance even went through an ordeal where there was a possibility that the birth mother had the option to take the child back into custody six or so months after the fact. I'd want to be sure of the outcome before beginning the necessary steps. I read stories of adoptive parents going to foreign countries to pick up a child with only the expense being a airline ticket. Is it really that simple?

The truth is that I haven't researched adoption enough to understand the facts about the above money, love, and process concerns. Well, I do know I will love whatever child with whom God chooses to bless us. This article is just the beginning step in my desire to come to terms with the issues. I have programmed a website where I plan to solicit the written experiences of others considering adoption or adoptive parents. You are invited to post an article too. You don't have to be an expert -- I'm not! You don't need to be a great writer. Your knowledge on the topic is what matters.