5. You know every stat value in Dream Team and your mind is filled of these numbers bouncing around whenever your player gets a stat.



However, when you know your opponent's team and you start seeing numbers when they rack them up as well, you are looking in trouble. Once you're seeing plays as numbers it's as good as over for you - goodbye football fan, hello Dream Team Geek. Like the binary nerds before you, you're reduced to a series of 1s and 0s.

Note - if you play Super Coach, then think yourself lucky the scoring formula is guarded more closely than a parent guards their child at a Michael Jackson concert - you won't be seeing these numbers in your sleep.

4. You get half time and full time Dream Team score updates via SMS when you cannot access the Internet.

(The half time updates are the key symptom of Dream Team Addiction ... we all succumb to the full time updates now and then).

3. Joy is when you players in your team get engaged in a bit of backline kick to kick - and it's not because it reminds you of days in the park sharing the Sherrin with your old man.

Even if this is a close game late in the fourth quarter, you no longer boo but instead cheer 'clock management' and have your own footy to hold high above your head.

2. Who said it's only a game? You've punched walls, thrown remotes, smashed glasses or all of the above because:

- your DT player hand balls when they could kick - your DT player drops a total sitter - your DT player gets pinged for a soft free kick - your gun back pocket gets manned up (what? he's a back pocket!) - your DT player gets a free, but advantage is given to another player (in front of goal this may warrant wall punching) - your low scoring back men is not getting involved in the short pass after a point - your player is not getting involved in clock management or "tempo" footy

Finally - the big kahoona...

1. You would prefer to see your team lose if it meant your Dream Team players could rack up a huge score.

I am sorry; this is where I draw the line. Crossing it is not only first degree sports bigamy, but it is really the start of the end. Hand in your Aussie citizenship and book some time on the couch, and no I do not mean with Gerard Healy (although you might find him in the waiting room).