Ashley used to be so happy about going to piano lessons, and now she just grumbles. Jason hates even looking at his skates now, so getting him to put them on and hit the ice is almost impossible. How did this happen to such enthusiastic children? Parents can become disturbed by the confusing and conflicting messages they get from their kids, who seem to lose interest in something you thought they would do for the rest of their lives.



When a child starts showing signs of losing interest in an activity, parents should listen and ask them questions instead of becoming frustrated. You must become detectives instead. What does your child do in the class or activity? Ask them. Ask the teachers as well. You may find out some important answers. Sometimes it's just that a child thought an activity would be all fun and no effort. Then when they realize it isn't all social or playtime, they start to balk. This may mean that the activity or program is too structured for their age group. If there is too much discipline or the activity is painful, as in some martial arts classes, the child may also resist. Use your knowledge of your child to make your decision. Ask yourself if you would want to attend the program, and if there is enough motivation for the child.

The ration of students to teachers is also important, and if there are just enough teachers to keep the class going your child may not be getting proper instruction of attention. Government recommendations are usually one teacher for every 15 students, and ideally there will be more.

If a child can't solve a problem, generally he or she will avoid it entirely. If you can't figure out if there are problems with the teacher or class, then maybe it lies elsewhere. Ask your child if the activity is interesting enough. If so, perhaps social pressures are making the child uncomfortable. If he or she has no friends or even has problems with someone in the class, there may be some social issues to overcome. Help your child find a friend and he or she will be more likely to attend the class.

Even if you put forth your very best in this regard, you still may not be able to recover the situation. Your child may still resist the activity. If so, it's probably time to try something else. If the child is still interested in the subject yet resists, perhaps it's simply time to change classes or teachers. But you should never force your child to continue in the situation where he or she is disinterested or uncomfortable. These are extra-curricular activities, and the “extra” should apply to happiness and fun as well as activity.