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Aggressive Behavior In Children

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Then came the question, "Mum, since I am ready for school, can I please go on the computer?" Now, generally I have a rule and that rule is that nobody gets to go on the computer before school. Usually if I let one child go on it will distract the others and everyone ends up being late for school. But today my kids had done so much so quickly and excelled themselves so I wanted to let them know that good behvaior is always noticed and will be acknowledged in some small way every time.

I said to my two boys, "OK, what is your plan? I need to be on the computer by 8am so between the two of you there is only one hour. How are you going to plan your time wisely? I put the onus on them to sort out who would go first, how long their turns would be, as the last thing I wanted on a Monday morning was an argument before school.

The boys put their heads together and chatted and came up with their plan. They came back to me and Sam said, "Kieren's going on now until 7.30am and then I am going on until 8am". I listened to their suggestion and reminded then that I would need the computer promptly at 8am and that I didn't mean 10 past 8am.

The boys agreed that they could stick to those rules so off they went happily. They had worked really hard to get ready for school so early and deserved to be rewarded. Now here's the thing: my kids did deserve recognition for their outstanding efforts this morning in preparing for school. I decided that I was prepared to bend the rules and allow them to go on the computer. That was my choice and I made it. If parents make the rules they have the right to bend them also.

I'm not saying that it is always OK to bend the rules but sometimes it is OK. When kids see that you are kind and compassionate and not just some big authority figure they will respond to you much better. My kids have left for school now and they were off the computer before 8am for me.

So they have proven trustworthy in this one area. So, next time they come to me of a morning and ask the same question, what do you think my answer might be? I think I am very likely to say "yes" again. why? Kieren and Sam have proven that they can be trusted with the computer in the morning.

We need to remember to give our children plenty of opportunity to earn our trust and my kids earned my trust this morning. I was really proud of them and I hope they felt proud of themselves as well - there was no fighting over the computer; they played nicely and the morning went very smoothly.

I am glad I chose to give my kids a liberty today. It was a liberty well deserved. and I wouldn't mind betting my kids will come home from school and thank me for letting them on the computer this morning.

The main thing that my kids can learn from this experience is that there are good consequences from good behavior. My kids were well behaved and received an unexpected reward for their efforts. And that is how the real world operates.

Aggressive Behavior In Children

Through the years of working with struggling and aggressive youth, Adam learned very important truths for managing defiant and aggressive behavior in teens. I had the privilege of corresponding with him a couple days ago. I asked him, "If you had to choose, what are the most important ways that a parent or guardian can manage a teen's aggressive and defiant behavior?"

Over the next couple of weeks, we will get more in depth on how these tips or strategies play out in your home. Here are the 3 valuable pieces of advice:

The Parent Should Always Control Themselves

Conversations and arguments WILL get out of control with your teen if you are not controlling yourself. A lot of the time, or most of the time, adolescents push their parent's hot buttons. For some it is intentional, and for some it isn't. Some teens act defiant and rebellious simply to inspire a reaction out of you. As a parent, you cannot react to your teen or their rebellious behaviors.

If you are always arguing with your teen, or if you lose your cool because your teen is openly defiant, you have just taught your teenager that it's OK to behave that way. Whether you see it or not, your teens look to you as an example, even if their harsh words don't say it.

A parent needs to always remember that they cannot control the actions of their teen. That problem alone causes hardships left and right. Parents cannot control their teens decisions. They can however guide, lead, and equip them to deal with their aggression and anger in a healthy way.

The Parent Needs to Recognize the Signs of Potential Aggressiveness in Their Teen

We'll break this down in future articles so that you will be able to fully understand the signs of aggression. While noticing and recognizing the signs is important, there are obvious triggers that anger teens. These triggers need to be identified by the parents so that they will be able to handle themselves when the triggers are present. Briefly, recognizing the signs of potential aggression in teens is often referred to as WAVE: wind up, agitation, verbal abuse, explosion.

If the Parent is the Source of the Problem, They Need to Remove Themselves

If the parent is not controlling themselves, and if the parent is instigating, this will cause a teen's behavior to be aggressive, defiant, and rebellious. An instigating parent is the worst ingredient for managing aggressive behavior in teens. Parents sometimes instigate their children because they don't know any other way of handling their aggressive behaviors. Most troubled teens take offense to such an attack. Adam also provided three points of focus for this one tip. We will study them soon.

Those points are prevention, intervention, and post-vention.

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About Author

Both Kim Patrick & Jordan Adams are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Kim Patrick has sinced written about articles on various topics from Children, Family and Children. Kim Patrick is a single mum with four children who lives on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia. She is author of the book, "Get Your Child To Behave In 30 Days Or Less". For more information on how to. Kim Patrick's top article generates over 74000 views. to your Favourites.

Jordan Adams has sinced written about articles on various topics from Children, Education Toys. Jordan Adams is the Founder and an Author of ResourceToLife.com. The website provides support, resources, and advice for Please come join th. Jordan Adams's top article generates over 8100 views. to your Favourites.

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