If you've been lucky enough to see the new book by Paul McGee, you will know that he has something great to offer in the field of self-improvement. SUMO stands for 'Shut Up, Move On' and there's a real truth there. That most people spend time and energy living in the past, regretting something they did or didn't do, or some slight or hurt they suffered years before. If you expend energy there, then you don't have enough to live in the present or plan for the future. 'Move On' is the cry. Get going. Look forward and head in that direction. Sounds good to me.



The only problem is that people I've spoken to seem to misunderstand the first bit. You know, 'Shut Up'. What does that mean? Some people take that to mean that they have to swallow their tongue, shut their mouths and simply suffer in silence. They've missed a bit. Paul explains quite clearly that you have to get rid of the pain before you can move on, or, as Brian Tracy said, 'Release the subconscious brakes'. If you can get rid of those hurtful feelings, you can progress. But how to ditch the bad feelings? It makes no sense to simply close your mouth. You can't swallow pain and get rid of it. All you've done is push it down, but it's going to bob up again, sometime in the future. If you can't do something with a bad memory, then it's always there, lurking, festering. No, you need to clear it out. Then you can move on.

There are several ways of dealing with it. One way is to moan. Paul says that's OK. Recent research has shown that women can be good at this. They appreciate the release of sharing bad experiences with others. Men don't understand that. They think that if they're being told about something, then somehow they're being asked for a response. Solve the problem, man. That's what they hear. It isn't what's being said. When a woman complains, that's all she's doing. She isn't expecting any action. She knows that she's going to feel better, and it's 'better out than in'. Or, as the old saying goes, 'A problem shared is a problem halved'. 'Shared' says the saying, not 'solved'. So, here's the plan. Share your feelings. Then, shut about it ever after, and move on. But see the difference? Once you've talked about it you'll feel better. That's the time to shut up. Not, as most men seem to do, REFUSE to talk about it, suppress their feelings, and then imagine that they can move on, somehow, without suffering future breakdowns or heart attacks. No, guys. You have to do the talking bit first. Then you shut up.

Or, really express yourself. To coin a phrase, SOMO. That stands for 'Shout Out, Move On'. In Japan, it's said that most big office blocks have a gym in the basement. In the gym is a small room with dummies arranged along the walls. Both men and women go into the room and punch and hit the mannequins. They like to imagine that they represent their bosses. So, LOMO, or 'Lash Out, Move On'. Either way, express yourself physically. Get rid of your rage and frustration and then you'll be in a position to forget it. But you need the exercise first! If you've ever talked to a friend about your problems and they've said, 'Forget it', you know what useless advice that is. If you feel bad, angry, hurt, upset, you can't just dump that and pretend like nothing ever happened. But here's a tip. Punch the dummy, hit your pillow, maybe even slap your hand against the wall. It's all better than the alternative ? getting a gun and shooting someone. Express your anger. One thing I did once: I drove up the motorway to a desolate area, parked up and walked as far as I could along a country track. Then, when I was sure I wasn't being observed, I screamed. Yep, raised my voice and hollered. I felt like I had a complaint at the time, but somehow I wasn't able to get it out at home. Out there in the countryside I really did let rip and you know what ? I did feel better afterwards. I was ready to move on.

Or, as a last resort, get some revenge. It's good, it works every time. As an Internet Author, I'm regularly working on a new novel. At the end of 2005 I was composing a story about spies and international terrorists. I had a beef with someone I was employed with at the time, so I put him in the book. He's there, distorted, exaggerated, with a poisonous personality and vain behaviour. He's awful. I hope people will read that and think, 'What a terrible character'. Exactly. That's my revenge. It's not exactly murder, but it is 'character assassination'. Maybe you can think of something similar. Writing is good therapy, believe me. One good tip is to write The Letter You Never Send. Got a gripe? Put it down on paper but then never deliver it. Maybe burn it. That way you get out all the bile you've been building up, but it never goes to do more damage, it's discarded. Or, to coin another phrase, it's TOMO. That stands for 'Throw Out, Move On'. Anybody who has started a new project knows that part of the preparation is clearing the desk, tidying the workbench, emptying your cupboards and making room for the new activity. Make space, then you can progress. It's worth remembering.

Because, after all, the best bit is still there at the end. 'Move On'. That's the greatest advice ever. If you aren't where you want to be, or heading in what you feel is the right direction for you, then it's probably because you haven't cut the strings to your past. That can be a terrific distraction to making new plans and seeing them through. It's as though you can't go on holiday this year because you keep thinking about the time you fell off a surfboard, years ago. Okay, feel bad. Feel embarrassed. Suffer that hurt. Then throw it out, burn it. Maybe you'll never hit the beach again, but if you carry on with those bad feelings, it will be like a millstone round your neck, weighing you down. Don't do that. Move on.