One day you are your child's best friend and the next day they would rather eat lima beans and spinach than be seen with you in public. If they're with their friends at the mall and they see you coming, they run in the other direction. If you go to the same movie, they insist on sitting ten rows behind you. What's the matter? Did you suddenly grow two heads and a tail?
Every parent experiences it ? the time in their child's life when it's no longer "cool" to be seen with their parents. We enter into this bittersweet experience with mixed emotions. Our child is growing up and becoming independent and that's something we're proud of, but we also feel just a tad bit remorseful and maybe even hurt. After all, just a few short years ago public hugs and kisses were no big deal. Now they're cause for public humiliation and teenage angst.
So how are parents supposed to handle the heartache? There are a few different ways to approach this time in your child's life.
Bribery Will Get You Everywhere
If you really can't bear to go to the mall without your teenager, this is the perfect time to get them the necessary clothes they need. The only way most teenagers will even consider going to the mall with mom or dad is if there's something in it for them ? and that means spending money. Is little Ms. Thing too cool to head to the plaza with you? Promise a brand new pair of jeans and things may change. Is Mr. Cool just too fabulous to be seen at the store with good old dad? The promise of a pair of sneakers may put a different spin on things.
The Waiting Game
If bribery seems abhorrent to you and there's absolutely no way you're going to "pay" your child to go out in public in your presence, then you just may have to play the waiting game. It may take a few years before you're cool enough to go out with your son or daughter again, but it will be well worth the wait when your child grows up into an adult and realizes how cool you always were.
Enjoy It While It Lasts
You know that freedom you had before you became a parent? Well, right about now you're getting some of it back. Instead of mourning the loss of your child's affections and attention, relish it. Go to the movies you want to see and read the book you've been meaning to get to. Before you know it, your child is going to outgrow this phase and a few short years after that you may have your hands tied as a grandparent!
So rest assured, you definitely haven't sprouted another head or a tail. Your child is just spreading their wings and exploring independence. It's natural and it's good for them ? and though you may not realize it, it's probably good for you too.
Copyright (c) 2006 Pat Brill
Animals With Two Heads
Rubbish I hear you say? I couldn't agree more. I find it quite amusing that ?scholars? and the media treat the home schooled child and parent this way. The number one argument against homeschooling is the buzz word of ?socialization? in other words the lack of social interaction with others through schooling.
This is easily avoided by joining numerous organizations, including, independent study programs and specialized enrichment groups for physical education, art, music, and debate. Most are also active in community groups by learning through doing. Home-educated children generally socialize with other children the same way that school children do: outside of school, via personal visits and through sports teams, clubs, and religious groups etc.
Most home education parents have often argued that their alternative actually enhances the student's ?socialization?. They argue that the school years are the only time in a person's life that he or she will be artificially segregated into chronologically-determined groups. They say that home educated children have a more normal interaction with people of all ages. This will result in more influence on the child from adults, and less from other children, leading to more mature young citizens while still keeping friends and interacting with children of the same age.
In 1999 a statement from the National Education Association that, "home schooling cannot provide the student with a comprehensive education experience?. It is funny then that earlier this month shows home-schooled students are actually more socially and academically advanced than their peers. Patrick Basham from Cato Institute and author of the study says one of the greatest quotes ever (and relates to my confronting headline) ?aren't surprising in intellectual terms, but it does turn the major anecdotal opposition to home schooling - that it produces social retards - on its head." "Almost one quarter of home-schooled students perform one or more grades above their age level peers in public and private schools," said Basham. Indeed, the study cited findings that by Grade 8, the average home-schooled student performs four grade levels above the national average.
According to the study's findings, the typical home-schooled child is more mature, friendly, happy, thoughtful, competent, and better socialized than students in public or private schools and less peer dependent and exhibit "significantly higher" self-esteem, according to the study.
Where is this socialization the government school crowd always promotes as a reason for not home schooling? The latest blurb is that home schooled kids, even though possibly better educated, just can't be socialized in a home school setting. Once again the difference between theory and practice is showing just the opposite. Socially, home schoolers socialize in soccer comps, football comps, special events, ski trips, astronomy clubs, church groups, on the internet etc. So please, help me find this lack of socialization among home schoolers so we can stamp it out and stop depriving them of this most important asset?. What do you think?
Both Pat Brill & Matt Weight are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Pat Brill has sinced written about articles on various topics from self improvement and motivation, Recreation and Sports and Family. Pat Brill is co-founder of which supports Busy Moms with free gift ideas and helpful tips to meet. Pat Brill's top article generates over 14800 views. to your Favourites.
Matt Weight has sinced written about articles on various topics from Education Toys, Family and Recreation and Sports. For more information on Homeschooling visit . Matt Weight's top article generates over 9900 views. to your Favourites.
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