Most adult children fall into caregiving as a result



of an incident that placed their elder in a crisis situation. After the dust settles and reality sets in often we realize that our lives have changed and this change is often not welcomed.

We find ourselves unprepared for caring for our parent

especially when that care is for issues such as dementia, incontinence or immobility.

A period of time goes by and then we begin to feel

totally overwhelmed. Most of this feeling can be a

result of trying to be ALL to our parent. We find that our life, our family, and our routine has gone by the wayside.

Many caregivers try to provide care single-handedly

while neglecting their own needs. It is common

amoung caregivers to think that their life has to come

second to the needs of their parent. Martyrdom is

common.

This thinking often leads to frustration, anger and guilt. We forget that we have a right to live and that balance is necessary in everyone's life.

There are solutions but they require risk. Many

caregivers often fear asking for help because they

fear rejection. Admitting that they cannot handle all the caregiving alone is often terrifying. Most wonder why others will not offer to help so they do not have to ask.

Picking up the reins is what will help us regain

control of our lives.

Creating a Freedom Plan

1) Get special instruction to provide the

care needed. Ask your doctor for a Medicare

Occupational Therapist or a Nurse to instruct

you on incontinence care,bathing, a Physical

Therapist to teach you how to transfer your

parent to the toilet, in/out of the car, set up an

exercise routine,etc.

2) Make a list of all the things that will give you a break.

ex: a cooked meal twice a week

a sitter 9:00am to noon Tuesday and Thursday

play cards with mom every Wednesday afternoon

3) Join a support team even when you think you

do not need it.

4) Hire a baby sitter to sit with your parent so you

can have a night out with spouse or family night.

5) Plan a Vacation by swapping homes with a sibling.

6) Hire respite care regularly for you and your family.

7) Start all this as soon as possible so your parent

gets use to different people providing the care.

Keep your needs list current.

ANYTIME ANYONE asks if you need anything

go right to this list and ask them to choose what ever they feel they can do.

You will be amazed how often people will sign up

to help when you are clear on your needs.