What if negative thinking does creep in and you find yourself mired in unpleasant emotions. Then what? Cognitive therapy calls for tackling the problem using the seven easy tips. Seven tips may not sound like many, but simplicity is one of cognitive therapy's major strengths. It is quick and easy, and once people understand the basic concepts, almost anyone can practice it. Sometimes, though, cognitive therapy's very simplicity puts people off. They say that it is so simple, it can't work. In fact, they are jumping to a conclusion – the “fortune-telling” kind – and urges them to try the tips anyway. Give it a try for any given problem and see what happens.
1.Write Everything Down
The act of writing automatically puts some distance between you and your negative thought. Jotting things down provides perspective and helps people detect distorted thinking more easily. If you are in a situation where you just can't put pen to paper, it is recommended saying things out loud.
2.Identify The Upsetting Event
What's really bothering you? Is it simply the fact that you got a flat tire? Or is it that you soiled your outfit while changing it? Or that you knew you needed a new tire but did not replace it? Or that the flat made you late for your daughter's soccer game?
3.Identify Your Negative Emotions
You might feel annoyed about the flat, frustrated that replacing it soiled your outfit, angry at yourself for not replacing it in time and guilty for being late for the soccer game.
4.Identify The Negative Thoughts That Accompany Your Negative Emotions
About failing to replace the tire: “I always procrastinate. I never take care of things in time.” About soiling the outfit, “ I'm a slob. I can't go anywhere and look okay.” About being late for the game: “My daughter will make a scene. She'll think I do not love her. And the other adults there will think I am a bad parent.”
5.Identify Distortions And Substitute Rational Responses
About the tire: “ I don't always procrastinate. I juggle my job and family and accomplish just about everything that has to get done. I would have replaced that tire in time, but I had to deal with an emergency at work, and the tire just got by me.” About the stained outfit: “ I'm not a slob. I'm usually very careful about my appearance, more so than most people, which is why things like this upset me.” About the tardiness: “ My daughter knows I love her. She knows that if I am late, whatever detained me was beyond my control. She is unlikely to make a scene, but if she does, the other adults there will comfort her. I have done the same for their kids and never thought them to be bad parents. No one will think the worst of me.”
6.Reconsider Your Upset
Are you still heading for and emotional tailspin? Probably not. But you still feel annoyed about getting the flat.
7.Plan Corrective Action
“As soon as the game is over, we are getting that tire. That will take the time I have planned to spend cooking dinner, so I have pick up some take-out instead.”
Are You Feeling Better
Here are six simple things you can do today to build your self-confidence.
1. Listen to the way you talk to yourself. Experts say that a full 70 to 80% of our thoughts are negative, and that can eat away at your self-confidence - day in and day out. It may sound corny, but changing your inner monologue can help your self-confidence in untold ways.
Here are some ideas:
- Set a timer for random, intermittent periods of time. When the alarm goes off, immediately tune in to find out what you were thinking about. If it's negative, make a conscious effort to bring your thoughts immediately into something more positive.
- Write your own affirmations. Say them twice daily ? or record them into a tape recorder and listen to them in your car or while doing daily chores.
- Ask a friend to listen for negativity in your conversations. When negativity crops up, immediately say something positive.
- Listen to behavior modification audios that target negative self-talk. These can be really effective ? and come in both subliminal and non-subliminal varieties.
2. Look your best. Superficial as it may sound, the way you feel about your appearance on a daily basis can really build self-confidence. Go through a stack of magazines and tear out photos of hairstyles and clothing that are appealing to you. How can you incorporate some of those images into your present look? It takes just minutes a day to polish your appearance, and you'll instantly look and feel more self-confident. When you look and feel more confident, you'll act more confident. And when you act more confident, you'll *be* more confident.
3. Stand up straight. When you are feeling down, you are more likely to slouch and frown, which can make a bad mood even worse. Next time you don't feel like smiling, pull your shoulders back, stand tall, and smile. Before you know it, your smile will be genuine. And you will be exhibiting a more self-confident you to the world.
4. Examine the energy of your friends. What kind of energy do you emit with friends? What kind of energy do your friends emit? Here's a good litmus test: How do you feel about yourself and the world immediately after you leave the company of your friend? If you feel down and critical, make an effort to be around more positive, self-confident people. Their energy will rub off on you.
5. Catalog your positives. Make a long list of all the accomplishments that you are proud of, and post it where you can see it every day. Now make a list of the personality characteristics that you are proud of. What makes you unique? Celebrate yourself and all the things that make you, you ? without trying to change them.
6. Be grateful. Start your day by jotting down 5 things you are looking forward to. And end your day by writing 5 things you enjoyed. By acknowledging the blessings in our lives, we get a sense for the bigger picture and our larger life purpose, which is much, much more than the day-to-day obstacles of our lives.
Both Raymond Geok Seng Lee & Jamie Jefferson are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Raymond Geok Seng Lee has sinced written about articles on various topics from Health, Sinus Infections and Shoes. . Raymond Geok Seng Lee's top article generates over 27100 views. to your Favourites.
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