Once my wife and I caught our breath, and gave a little prayer of gratitude that we were there to see it, rather than suddenly finding the kitchen on fire, we realized: we need to get the oven fixed. So, I go digging through our "home appliances" file, and find the instruction manual for the oven. Yes, we had it in a file- there are some advantages to being a Virgo. ;-)

Five minutes later I was furious and defeated... we had bought the house with the oven already installed, new, and it was some obscure brand The manual had no phone number, no website, and no part numbers for how to replace the heating element. Grrr.... And, Googling didn't reveal the company's identity either.

Your business is here to serve people as much as you can.

And, incidentally, that's where profit comes from as well. If you've ever gone through feast and famine in your business, then you know that it takes a lot more effort and energy to gain a new customer, than it does to continue to serve a customer that already loves and trusts you.

Have you avoided being pushy, and abandoned your customers when they need you most?

It's easy to get caught in your head and worry about being "pushy" or too "sales-y." Well, in the wrong moment, you can seem pushy. But, in the right moment, what I could use as a customer is for you to be a little more forward, willing to extend a hand and make it easier on me to get what I need.

When you sell a product or a service to someone, you've created a sacred trust of a relationship. They have trusted you to help them, and you are being humble enough to receive financial provision from them as well. You know your area of expertise better than your customer- that's why they're buying from you, and not vice-versa.

This means that you can better anticipate what other needs, problems, or issues might show up in the future. You do your customers a service by alerting them to these possibilities, and letting them know where they can get what they need next.

If you sell ovens, you hope that a customer isn't going to have a dangerous problem, but, realistically you know it happens. Things break. How hard would it have been for them to put some kind of a service number on the oven somewhere. Or, better yet, if whoever installed the oven had put a heat-resistant metal tag inside, engraved with a phone number or website, it would have made it much easier on me.

Whatever nameless company that was responsible for our oven lost an effortless sale that could have been very profitable- what do I know about heating elements? How much time would I have spent trying to comparison shop? Besides, I need an element that fits my oven, not just the cheapest one. It has to work. (Not to mention the safety issue.)

And, they would have saved me time and effort that I'm spending now trying to track down an element, and figure out how to get it installed, safely. Meanwhile, we're using our toaster oven...

But, there is a line between 'pushy' and 'helpful.' Where is it? And, how can you stay on the right side of it?

Keys to the Helpful Kind of Pushy

* Understand the true scope of what you are helping your customers with.

If you're in the service industry, it probably took years for you to master what you do. If you're honest with yourself, immediate and complete transformation of your clients is probably not possible- and may be overwhelming for them. By truly getting how much work you've done to get where you are, you can begin to appreciate how much support your clients might need over the long term to truly be successful with what you want to help them with.

If you are primarily a product business- same thing. Even if you're selling oatmeal (to replace the junk many people eat for breakfast), it's not just about changing one person's morning experience, it's about supporting a lifestyle and eating habit change that will benefit them mentally and physically.

* Where is the edge of the cliff?

There is a natural conclusion for every particular service or product offer. The last bag of oatmeal is gone, the client feels as if they've reached a "completion" point with one issue. But, that doesn't mean they're done. Look for those cliff-edges and make sure you build a bridge.

For instance, one class participant wrote an excellent little guidebook on decluttering. She put her contact information in the front, but not at the end of the book. But where is the edge of the cliff? At the end. Building a bridge would be having an extra page letting her reader know:

"If you are on fire to continue decluttering, but don't want to spend weeks attacking one little pile at a time on your own, give me a call. I love this work. Imagine, just a few days from now we could have your entire life completely decluttered! Phone number. Web site link here."

* Make sure it's about what they would naturally be needing.

You drift from 'helpful' into 'pushy' when you lose sight of where the cliff edge is, and what your customer's needs are. If you're thinking, "I need to make an offer here because I need the money," chances are it will feel pushy.

But, as long as your heart is truly seeing what your customer's next natural step could be, and your intention is not to leave them hanging, then your offer is going to come across as helpful, whether or not they take you up on it immediately. And, if you offer enough help, consistently enough, your bridges will start to get crowded.

Trust your heart and give more help. Because, personally, I'd much rather see your bridge than a cliff-edge any day of the week.

Wish me luck with our stove.