A coaching skills training course delegate was recently explaining his frustration at the lack of interest and motivation his staff were showing when being coached. He explained that the normal reaction to being coached was for his staff to cross their arms, lean back in their chairs and adopt an almost 'bet you can't coach me!' attitude. No doubt these same people would leave the coaching conversation thinking 'See. I've won. You can't coach me!' How sad.



I suggested that he adopt a less well known coaching tool called Transposing to help him work this through.

Transposing works by getting you to adopt another person's viewpoint and ask: What am I thinking, what am I feeling and what do I want?

I asked the manager to think of one particular individual - let's call him Doug. Transposing Doug made us realise that he was thinking "Oh God, what have I done wrong? If I'm being coached, I must be seen as underperforming!"

We also figured that Doug was feeling anxious and uncertain. His interactions with management at the company in the past had usually resulted in a 'telling off' in some shape or form. No wonder he was acting like a beaten dog and holding himself stiff until the next beating arrived.

The real revelation happened when we considered what it was that Doug might want. We realised that given his prevailing thoughts and feelings, he would want to get out of the meeting as soon as possible; with his dignity intact.

The real reason why Doug was so reluctant to get involved was now obvious and the manager and I were able to devise a way he could position coaching to overcome these thoughts and feelings. It happened that Doug was a massive sports fan and so his manager pointed out that Tiger Woods, David Beckham and so on were all incredible performers with very little wrong with their games, and yet these same people valued their relationship with their coach above all others. He also pointed out that sports coaches were rarely, if ever, better performers than there clients, but that this was not the point. This lead to Doug realising that coaching was not about his manager just telling him what to do, how to do it, and pointing out all his mistakes. On the contrary, it was a chance for Doug to think and talk about his work with real honesty and to plot ways forward in the areas he needed to develop. In fact at a subconscious level Doug began 'transposing' his boss, appreciating how difficult it must be to provide coaching to such a truculent group. This mutual empathy is a wonderful by-product of the transposing tool and I'm happy to report that Doug's relationship with his manager is now flourishing.

By the way, another good reason for walking a mile in your coachee's shoes is that if things don't work out, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes!!