Do these “arranged situations” ever work out; these blind dates that well meaning friends and families attempt to arrange for all of us at some point in our lives? What do we have to lose anyway? Well, let's just look at what happened when Jenny tried to do this favor for her friend Lisa!
It had been a long Monday for Lisa, and she was ready for a friendly voice on the telephone. When she heard from Jenny, it was the bright spot in her day. Little did Lisa know what an impact this call would have on her life for the next few weeks. Jenny invited her to a restaurant they had both been anxious to try out; a new little Italian place with red checked tablecloths, a real live violinist, and a tempting selection of wonderful foods and wines. This was just what she was needed to plan for to help her get through her week!
But wait, there's a catch, and he has a name. Jenny knows this fellow named Bob who just moved to town and is a really nice guy. She thought it would be “fun” to do a double date Saturday night with Bob and his friend from work. It sounded harmless since they've both wanted to try out the new place, so Lisa accepted Jenny's invitation and they both made plans to meet at Berelli's Saturday night.
So far, these girls are doing the right thing by meeting these guys at the restaurant and not being picked up. They don't know them very well and if for some reason, one (or both) need to duck out, neither will be stuck without wheels.
The weekend rolled around soon enough and Jenny and Lisa had taken a little trip the mall to shop for a couple of cute dresses and matching shoes. They helped each other with their hair that Saturday afternoon, and almost felt like young schoolgirls going out on their first date. In a way it was, for Lisa, since it was her first blind date. She had never done anything like this before, and although she was looking forward to being with her friend, she was a little hesitant about meeting this guy Bob. Anyway, it was just a dinner and that would be it.
They jumped into the car and drove over to Berelli's, making sure they were “fashionably” late (but just 10 minutes), not to appear over anxious to their gentleman waiting. Bob and William had already gotten a nice table and ordered a bottle of wine, so the scene was set for a lovely evening. What a cute place this new little restaurant was! It looked like a page right out of Italy, with the tables set so beautifully, music filling the room, and Jenny even noticed a quaint little dance floor near the violinist for those who wished to become a little romantic. This was just what she needed, and Bob looked pretty good too. He had a nice smile, good looking suit, and pulled out her chair for her when she sat down. This man is right out of a storybook! Who ever said blind dates are a mistake anyway?
As the evening progressed, the couples seemed to enjoy each other's company and all four were convinced Berelli's was a dining experience that they would recommend to their other friends. Lisa was so glad that she decided to take Jenny up on her offer. Actually she had never tried blind dating until that night because of all the horror stories told in the past. She had heard tales of all sorts, and although they were true, perhaps they were exaggerated a bit. They planned another date the next weekend and Jenny hoped that her first blind date would be her last. Bob very well just may be the “Mr. Right” she had been waiting for.
Now that is the way a story should always go, with a happy ending; however, girls (and guys) beware of the blind date. Make sure you handle yourself in a manner that doesn't allow yourself to be taken advantage of in any way, especially with wine flowing freely all night long. Many times if you have “let your guard down” you can find yourself in a situation you may not be able to handle. For example, if you are really attracted to someone and let him know it, he can sometimes get the wrong impression. It just is always a good idea not to be too friendly on first dates (and sometimes second and third dates) until you really get to know the person and you are certain he respects your wishes.
When employers hire new people, they many times do reference checks, and sometimes even background checks before they hire. You can do the same type of thing by making sure someone knows this person you plan to go out with and hopefully knows something about his past. The last thing you want is to fall in love with some guy or gal who ends up with the reputation of violence or some other seedy problem. These kinds of situations happen all the time. “But they would never happen to me…” we all believe; but they can, so we much be smart about where we go and with whom we go out with.
Lisa got lucky and met the man of her dreams, but unfortunately, that isn't always the way it works. Thinking back to her story, she originally just planned to have a nice evening and things just happened to work out much better than she expected. Meeting new people is fun; just be sure and use good common sense and keep a safe distance until you know exactly what you are getting into.
Now imagine a date with someone you met through internet dating and have been chatting online with and exchanging emails with for quite some time. First, you don't need to be introduced. You already know this man. You are sitting in an Italian restaurant enjoying a delightful meal because you both know that the other's favorite is Italian. The conversation flows easily as you discuss common interests. He runs marathons and loves history just like you do. You happily discuss the volunteer work that each of you is involved in. You look at your watch and discover that it is late…very late…where Has the time gone.
There is a big difference between a well-intentioned friend “setting you up” and choosing a man for yourself who shares your interests and tastes, isn't there? Now which one would you rather have?
With the explosion of online dating sites has come a virtual smorgasbord of choices. There are free sites… I don't recommend those but if money is a real concern, they are better than nothing. There are the large paid sites with many and varied features like chat, IM and even matching using profiles. There are the less expensive paid sites with few features. There are special interest sites for almost any thing you can think of...outdoor enthusiasts, couch potatoes, religious, non-religious, gays, lesbians…like I said…almost anything you can think of. So what's a girl to do? A girl should choose the site or sites that best fit her needs.
Here are some things to consider:
(1) Cost. How much do you want or how much can you spend each month for your membership (s)?
(2) Features. Which features are the most important to you?
(A) Profile matching systems. Is this a feature you really want or would you rather decide who is right for you all by yourself?
(B) Chat and IM's? There are websites who offer chat rooms and IM's on their sites. Does that matter or would you be happy just sticking to private email.
(C) Outside Events…such as speed dating? Are you interested in that?
(D) Privacy. Some websites allow you to limit who can view your picture or your profile. Does this matter to you or do you want as wide exposure as you can have?
(E) Safety. There are websites who do background checks of all subscribers and certify their age, marital status and background. Would you feel safer using this feature?
These are a few things but not all things you should consider when choosing an online dating service or services. Do your homework and choose wisely for the best results for you.
Both Lu Huskey & Frank Lucaz are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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