We continue our series on building satisfying interpersonal relationships. Commitment and love are important to all of us. We all seek success in dealing with others, whether with coworkers, friends, or loved ones. It is important to realize that there is no success secret, no checklist of things to do, and just as importantly things not to do. But we have many suggestions, now continuing with the letter C. We have written a double series of articles, brimming with suggestions for the letter C.



C is for compromise. This is a big one. Most of us learn at a young age that we can't have everything that we want. There are other kiddies in the playground and they all want to go down the slide. Especially when you want to. Well these kiddies grow up and they still want what they want; and frankly, sharing their toys is low on their list. (Of course when you get to be big, sharing some toys can be a real pleasure, but that is covered in another set of articles.) The great thing about compromise is that if you are really clever you can often get what you want while making it look like you have given in. However, sometimes this great turn of events is not in the cards. Then you must relinquish something you want to get something else that you want even more. Such a compromise can be as simple as going to see her movie this week and your movie next week. Or it can be as complicated as an international peace treaty.

C is for care. This can mean being there for someone. Care also means that you do what you do carefully; that you pay close attention to detail. Many employers reject candidates whose resumes contain spelling mistakes. According to such employers, these careless clowns simply proved they don't care enough to access the dictionary. If they can't get the resume right, how much attention are they going to pay to the marketing materials that just have to get out next Tuesday? Computer tools make it easier to show you care. Remember, if you don't show that you care associates, friends, and lovers may find someone who does.

C is for character. A person's character defines him or her. Can it be changed? Many people, including specialists, differ on this important point. Many feel that someone's basic character is defined at a fairly young age. But most people's character can be molded and refined, even in later years. By the way, don't make it your project to change someone's basic character, even in a loving way. He or she won't appreciate you for that. Having said this we know that in successful long-term relationships people's character tend to soften. It's a question of compromise. We have completed the circle.