When you think pollution, you're thinking dirty thoughts - but not just about the environment. Our language becomes less pure every day. Being anxious about it used to mean you were worried; but because so many people used the word incorrectly, now saying you're anxious can mean you're eagerly wishing for it. Does that mean an eager beaver is worried?



Gossip is language that dirties peoples' reputations. It's like manure. It's spread and it stinks. If gossipers had to eat their own words, they'd get sick.

People often look green when their sick - especially when they're sick with jealousy. Jealousy keeps us from appreciating what we have; and no matter how little we have, there's someone who'd be jealous because we have more. In spite of what Kermit says, it's too easy to be green; and green with jealousy isn't a becoming color. It colors our outlook on life.

Although we should be proud of what we have, we shouldn't be too proud. Pride goes before a fall, which must mean just a little too much pride goes before a trip. Big or little, pride pollutes. When we fall, an x-rated word or two is likely to fall from our lips into the air.

Spam can contain x-rated words. Remember the good old days when spam was contained in a can?

Politicians spam. They promise to do things they'll never do and deny things they've done. They take credit for things they didn't do and pass the blame for things they did. Describing politicians is like describing children - with one big difference. Children grow up. Politicians grow long in the tooth.

Just thinking about politics is stressful; but stress doesn't just contaminate our lives. It kills us. While trying to save the planet, we should try to save ourselves. We've should stop and smell the organic roses before we're pushing up wild daisies.

Organic food doesn't kill us. It doesn't contain stabilizers, preservatives, hydrogenated fats, high fructose corn syrup and carcinogenic food coloring. The more ingredients listed on packaged foods, the sicker they can make us. Calling them convenience foods isn't convenient for our health. Besides, how inconvenient can a carrot be and I've never seen any ingredients listed on a carrot.

I understand all that. I understand that telling my boss I liked his tie was a white lie; but if white lies pollute the truth, wouldn't they be gray?