You may catch yourself saying: "If only (name) were more decisive or clear-headed, or realistic, or patient like me, life would be so much easier. Our team would be far more effective. We'd make it through this project/these meetings with lightening speed."



There is great learning in associating with people who are not like you. It makes life more intriguing and it stretches you. As enticing as it may seem to live and work with others that communicate like you, in time, it would get quite boring. Here's what you'd miss:

Optimist vs. The Realist: Both of these personality types need each other. Pessimists like to call themselves 'realists.' Perhaps it sounds more optimistic? Either way, our world has too many shades of grey to lock our thinking into any one category. As an optimist, it is easy to get instantly irritated at negative or 'realistic' viewpoints, though these views are often just what I need to stretch me into seeing the full picture and to making important decisions accordingly. A realistic individual can unfold past their current belief system if they'll listen to new, positive ideas because it will make them stretch. The key to both styles is to be open, to listen, and to be curious.

Urgent vs. The Patient One: Both of these personalities drive each other nuts, yet are great for one another. The pressure caused by impatience in management makes people perform at a much lower level of effectiveness, which is just the opposite of what they suppose. Oftentimes, you immobilize your people who fear that they are not acting fast enough. Mistakes are made; morale decreases. Be discerning and use urgency as a tool, not a standard mode of behavior. Patient ones have learned this and yet they benefit from being discerning as well. Sometimes urgency is needed. Know when to set aside patience in honor of decisiveness and progress.

Visionary vs. Detail-Oriented: Another way to look at this category is the creative vs. the naysayer. Leaders who easily look at the larger picture, see possibilities that others can't envision. You encourage fresh approaches and generate enthusiasm. The key for both of these valuable leaders is to listen, simply listen, to one another. Perhaps the entire vision won't work, but it will stretch others beyond where they were before. If the naysayer cuts this vision down prematurely, it stunts creativity. At the same time, the naysayer may have valid points to help from this vision and keep the company out of bankruptcy. The company needs both of these types to help it to succeed.

You may have seen yourself in one of the above broad categorizations. If you really want to have fun, switch hats in your next meeting. If you are typically the realist, try being an optimist. See how this stretches you. Enjoy the shock on your team members faces when they notice this role reversal.

All that any of us want in life is to enjoy it more and experience higher levels of success across the board.

This week, simply notice where you hold too tightly to your familiar role. How does this block your success? Stretch out of it. Just a small extension could bring you big changes. If you catch yourself wishing others were more like you, switch your thinking to 'what if I were more like them?' Enjoy your discoveries and have a phenomenal week.