Young children respond especially well to verbal praise, as it contributes to their sense of self-worth. Small children desire to be valued by the grown-ups in their lives and will often repeat behavior that leads to praise for positively contributing to their environment. I remember the days when my daughters pretended to be vacuuming with their toy vacuum cleaner right along side of me as I vacuumed. A few simple, encouraging words that validate their efforts around the house can go a long way in building self-confidence, a sense of community and inviting them to repeat the behavior.



Be careful however - praising a child to an extreme can be counterproductive. For the past few decades, parents have gone to extremes with excessive praise toward their children. This method can have an underlying message that a child has to look externally to a parent or adult for validation. A more productive and lasting method of praise emphasizes:

- The behavior the child exhibited while completing a chore, rather than the result. Rather than saying "great job cleaning up your room", which doesn't give your child much information to repeat the desired behavior, instead say, "you really worked hard to make your bed. I appreciate your effort."

- The actions your child exhibits. An important element of learning at any age and skill level is to feel valued as an individual with unique talents and strengths. When my daughter was learning to make her bed, I found every opportunity to praise her efforts. As a result, she has developed a strength through the basic actions of cleaning up her room.

Praise children for doing household chores in a fun and engaging manner. Review with your child the steps that it took to do the chore, all the while congratulating and complimenting him for his efforts. This method reinforces for a child the importance of the chore's process and the effort it took to complete it.

Praising efforts rather than results can also instill a sense of cooperativeness and teamwork in your children - both of which are essential as they grow to be functional parts of society. Whether parents realize it or not, the praise that they give children after completing a chore can indirectly effect how children approach and handle interpersonal relationships in the future. The lessons learned from chores while younger, including the value of helpfulness and cooperation, can lead to successful relationships and satisfactory personal lives down the road.

Keep in mind that children, especially when learning new chores, are not likely to perform the chore to an adult's standard. But just like you, they have to start somewhere. Parents should be generous with praise and understand that instruction may need to be repeated until the child performs to his highest ability or the chore is done correctly.

So the next time your child performs his assigned household chores consider the lessons to your child and don't be afraid to tell him how proud you are of his efforts, behavior and accomplishments. Your praise can contribute to the next phrase of their personal development and help smooth their road to adulthood.

Copyright (c) 2008 Simplified Spaces