Unlike CNN these years, in their grand patriotic American antiques way, the BBC seems to have a way to get their camera up the backside of totalitarian regimes here there and everywhere. But not if you have just arrived in Beijing, we learn, and want to reference any story you are working on. We hear the word arrested. You put together links and letter figures to spell Falun Gong. Gong! No way you trouble. Go away. No, we are allowed, you have signed these agreements.



Click fingers, look who is at my side. Men with batons and guns. You see? Do you need a solider escort, we can fix. Where you end up we no guarantee. You ever been to Tibet? How about North Korea. We have great border parties there, the locals play fun with the starving Korean women who manage to still be alive when they struggle across the Yalu River. Man women struggl back home to die when we are through with them. Which part of this do you not get, Joe. You want to take pictures of Tiannamen Square.

OK that does it. You are trouble. That spells trouble. You should go back to River City, Joe. Oh, too bad, the factory shut down. We sell that to you now? Ah yes. It is written, you see. We see what you do not see. Our batons upon heads helps. Sh. Watch, learn, jump quick and listen. Games begin. Is very impressive. You have any idea how many prisons work double time? Much effort, very grand. No bodies in cement though. Too smelly. Let the Glorious New High Heights of Civilization begin,

Guns. batolns. Image of China. Very cautious Joe. Well you BBC you think we afraid of you? You see Tiannamen Square you die. OK as tourist./ But not as backdrop to make some silly words about freedom. We have tanks. Embarrassing, but you know. Make very messy p;hoto off, human hamburger, they called it. We can do if we need to do, and you see we will do. Which part of our lead lined pots and melamine soil you quetion? We are your friends, maybe. P:erhaps. Never to be sure. We are not open hearted Tibetans who share their openness.

Is not our way. Say one thing, means quite oother. You quess. We smile. We fix you good Joe and we are going to get even for these recent centuries. We have told you, we smiled when we opiated your soldiers in Vietman. You sold and drugged us with opium from India for your profits. you did that very well Mr. fancy pants Britain. You with the BBC golden voice. We have the golden bamoo baton. We fix. We on top. You fear, hold onto your foggy eyed pants Joe. Our time is now. And so we some how sense in the frantic frustration of the media man clicking his brain limited computer.

Ah that is the way, and the empoorer's way is now your way Joe. We write that script, you pay. And so it comes to be as we watch. We are not the center of their celestial dreams, other than the donkeys pulling their imperial dragon cart. Oh Joe. Oh God. Not here Joe. You just an old American antiques Joe. you pay we play. You see you cannot stop us now. And so it seems.