Marriage is an institution as old as the human race itself. It started in the Garden of Eden with our first parents. God blessed Adam and Eve: "Increase and multiply and fill the earth" (Gen. 1:28); and God's fundamental laws with regard to marriage are well expressed by Adam: "Wherefore, a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh" (Gen. 2:24).
Thus, marriage can be defined as a life long union between a man and a woman who are lawfully capable of giving irrevocably to each other the right to acts necessary for the generation and education of children, mutually obliging themselves to a common way of life in order to work out their eternal salvation. Among the baptized, every true marriage is, in itself and by itself, a sacrament instituted by Christ to produce grace.
The most essential factor in marriage, of course, is the contract. A contract is an agreement between two parties, each assenting to give something to the other or to do something for the other for a definite length of time. There cannot be a contract without the free consent of both parties.
There are six obstacles to consent.
1. Lack of the use of reason, infants, the seriously mentally ill, the intoxicated, the drugged, the hypnotized cannot give true consent.
2. Defective knowledge. In order to give consent, the person must know the essentials-that marriage is a permanent union of a man and a woman for the purpose of procreating children. He must know that this requires bodily cooperation of husband and wife. After puberty, it is presumed that the person knows these basic facts. It is not necessary that he know all the biological mechanisms involved in the sex act, conception, pregnancy and birth.
3. Mistaken identity. If you "marry" one person but thought that you were marrying another (his twin, for example) there is no true consent.
4. Pretense. People who say "I will" while acting out a marriage on the stage or in a movie are, of course, not married. There is no intention of getting married and, hence, no true consent. But if a person is a bride or groom in a real wedding ceremony, his external consent by saying "I will" is taken as evidence of true internal consent. He would have great difficulty trying to prove later that he said "I will" but did not really mean it.
5. Force or fear. Canon Law is specific on this matter, saying that "invalid is a marriage entered into through force or grave fear unjustly inspired from without, such that in order to escape from it, a party is compelled to choose marriage. No other fear, even if it furnish the cause for the contract, entails the nullity of marriage" (Canon 1087).
6. Intention contrary to the essence of marriage. If one or both parties would deny that marriage really is a contract binding on both parties, or that marriage gives the right to sexual intercourse, the marriage would be invalid, because denial would indicate a failure to under stand what marriage really is. You certainly are not making a contract when you do not believe there is a contract. And you are not making a contract involving sexual intercourse as one of the things promised if you do not believe that sexual intercourse is one of the things promised. But, as we have defined, marriage is a contract involving promise of sexual intercourse.
A Christian marriage must overcome all of these obstacles or it will not be a marriage.
Christian Marriage And Divorce
There is wisdom in a multitude of counselors the Bible says. "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." Proverbs 15:22. People who have tunnel vision, those who are locked into one way of thinking, are likely to miss the right road because they have closed their minds to any new options. We need the help of those who can enlarge our vision and broaden our perspective. Seek the advice of a professional and those who have a wealth of experience.
Christian Career Counseling
If you are a Christian looking for a new job or a Christian college student just graduating you may need to visit a Christian career counseling center for some wise advice. There may be one available at your church or school. They administer a few tests to determine what your gifts and strong points are to get you going in the right direction. This will save you time dropping off resumes at locations that may not be well suited for you.
Christian Premarital Counseling
If you are a Christian couple pondering marriage it is also wise to start a Christian premarital counseling series with a certified Christian counselor. Through these series of meetings you will discover how well matched you may or may not be. It is far better to learn more about each other before you head to the altar rather than after you have been married for several years. God gave us marriage as a gift. Man and woman were created perfect for each other. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Genesis 2:24. Find out if you are ready for this level of commitment before promising, in a public ceremony, yourselves to each other.
Christian Marriage Counselors
And if you do find that after several years of marriage you have hit a road bump, again seek counsel from professionally trained Christian marriage counselors. In marriage there are numerous responsibilities, outside pressures and many distractions that can cause a divide between you and your mate. As a Christian you should seek the advice of another Christian. Do not look to self help books or watch "Oprah" or "Dr. Phil" on TV and expect those "advisers" will solve everything for you. Go directly to the Lord in prayer and in His word for answers. Christian marriage counselors that are trained and certified will give you Biblically sound advice.
Do your homework before visiting any type of Christian counseling center or individual counselor. There are many counselors listed in the yellow pages and online. Call your pastor, who, by the way, may himself be a trained and certified Christian counselor. If he is not, ask for his advice on where to seek counseling. Listen to personal testimonies from friends, family members or colleagues who may have recently received some Christian counseling.Remember Proverbs 15:22: "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed."
If the fees for counseling are a challenge for you talk to the counselor. I am sure they can work out a payment plan or fee that may be more acceptable. They realize that finances can cause pressure on a recent college graduate, newlywed or married couple with children. Your life's goals and trials are God's concern also and He wants you to succeed as much as you do.
Both Jimmy Cox & Mary Swanson are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Jimmy Cox has sinced written about articles on various topics from Web Development, Horse Racing and Investments. 10 Myths On Why A Christian Marriage Tips Are More Popular These DaysClick here for FREE online ebook!
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