God ordained the sacrament of marriage incorporated by laws supported by Genesis 2:24; ?And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.
Christian Marriage is a sacramental union between one man and one woman during their wedding ceremony often officiated by a priest. The union takes place after reciting the marriage vows by both parties leading to the creation of a lifetime and legal agreement between them supported by Matthew 19:4-6; What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.
The man and woman have given the responsibility to be co-creators building a family on their own making Christ the center of their marital relationship. The church however subjects the married couples to the legal laws of the state but it does not permits any actions leading to the destruction of the marriage vows such as annulment, separation or divorce which is contradictory to orthodox Christian beliefs.
There are four negative patterns why marriage is at risk.
- Escalation takes place when both couples collectively respond to each other negatively reaching maximum level making the conversation gets even worse. Every negative comment increases the level of anger and frustrations leading to the creation of a major fight.
- Invalidation takes place when one is attacking the the character, thoughts or feelings of his partner.
- Negative interpretations take place when one partner consistently believes that his partner's motive is more negative than is really the case. This is a very destructive pattern quickly erasing intimacy and oneness in marriage thus creating an environment of hopelessness. Mind reading (doing it negatively) is also a negative interpretation assuming that you know what your partner is thinking or the reasons why your partner did something.
- Withdrawal and avoidance are the two separate manifestations of the problem where in a partner shows signs of unwillingness to get in or be involved in a too threatening discussion. Your partner chooses to get up leaving the room shutting down during an argument.
Marriage can be saved if the couples change these negative behavioural patterns acting as barriers ultimately leading loneliness, frustrations and isolations.
Through marriage counselling couples may restore broken relationships. This therapy enables them to regain their marital bliss.
They often seek counselling because they feel misunderstood, frustrated or deeply hurt or have a profound sense of sadness in their relationships.
It is not wrong to seek for happiness in marriage but the couple must be realistic enough of their situation. They should try to have a thorough evaluation regarding their marital status. Christian Marriage is a lifetime commitment, working it out in the best possible ways to survive every circumstance that occurs.
Christian Marriage counselling requires both partners for more effective results however a therapist might focus on only one individual if the other is not willing to be subjected on the counselling procedures. The couples should be committed to their relationships acknowledging and accepting first your feelings and second is to keep an open communication lines with your spouse, children and family.
Christian Pre Marriage Counseling
If you are reading this article on pre marriage counseling, it is most likely because you are in a committed relationship. Now you and your soulmate are contemplating moving to the next level of committment. You're very much in love with this person, and the feeling is mutual. What more do you need? Why would you even consider sharing your private thoughts and feelings with some counselor- a total stranger?
The short answer is: you and your lover are just too close to the situation to be objective. Having learned from many years of interpersonal behavioral research, professional counselors are quite knowledgeable about what makes people do what they do, and how they respond to stressful situations and crises. Their arsenal includes methods by which couples can reach greater satisfaction and improved communication in their marriages. Before you tie the knot, you really should consider taking advantage of pre marriage counseling. This will do two things for you. First, it will help you and your partner understand each other better. And second, it will help you both to learn about the challenges and rewards that lie ahead for you as a married couple.
Pre marriage counseling has been shown to reduce the incidence of divorce. Couples who have gone to pre marital counseling generally have stronger skills for dealing with problems they may face together. Pre marriage counseling increases your awareness of potential issues that could impact your relationship. It also helps you to know whether or not you are really ready to take the plunge. Counseling may be a single, intensive session, or it might be in the form of a course that lasts a few weeks.
Once you've made the decision to attend pre marriage counseling, you now must make a selection. You can choose between secular and religious counselors. Non-profit organizations, professional marriage counselors in private practice, colleges, churches and other religious groups offer pre marriage counseling. Online marriage counseling is also available, which you might find to be more convenient. Secular counselors work primarily from a psychological perspective, whereas religious counselors also endeavor to provide spiritual guidance as a foundation for your relationship.
Pre marital counseling courses typically discuss questions for couples such as developing conflict resolution skills, beliefs and values, intimacy and sexuality, effective communication, family goals, marriage expectations, raising children, role relationships, and, of course, finances Some pre marriage counseling courses will also involve the sharing of experiences in a group setting, and perhaps some outside reading assignments and other homework exercises. These activities are all designed to help couples build a solid foundation for their life together.
Before selecting a counselor, check his or her licensing or certification, educational background, experience, and professional associations. Also, it's a good idea to ask for references Remember, pre marriage counseling is an investment in your future happiness.
Both Sandra Stammberger & Philip West are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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