These were the comments of a student, not a teacher! And they came just before a vital exam, one she needed to pass to ensure a place at college. Success was important to her, so she'd made sure she was prepared, both intellectually and emotionally.

Then she blew it. She walked into the classroom where students were gathering before going to the exam hall, and allowed herself to be influenced by them.

She told me later that the place was charged with negative energy. Some students were sitting around with glum faces, while others were fidgeting and pacing nervously. And the air was full of comments like: 'Who else is going to fail? I know I am!' 'This ain't gonna be easy, that's for sure.' 'I could do with another month to prepare.' 'I'm in BIG trouble!'

On and on it went, until gradually the girl's confidence was destroyed by listening to the others and she began to feel nausea creeping over her.

In fact, she never failed, but to everyone's disappointment, she never got the high grade expected of her.

But the girl turned the experience into a learning situation. She became aware that: * If your language is predominantly negative, you won't achieve your goals * You must guard against the negativity of others - for if you don't, they can easily 'infect' you too!

Our experience in any situation is largely influenced by our attitude to it, (i.e. the way we FEEL, the way we react emotionally to the situation).

The attitude we have works on our thoughts, which in turn affect our speech, then our speech further conditions our thoughts!

And, as we've seen, other people's language can have an effect on us - if we let it! A common scenario for parents and teachers here in the UK is to hear students say 'I'm stuck!' when doing class or home study. All that's happening is that the student has come up against a challenge and hasn't yet found a solution.

Parents often refer the matter to the teacher - which is fair enough, as they are there to help.

But what's the effect of saying 'I'm stuck'?

Is a negative message being sent back to the brain?

In my teaching I have monitored this many times, all with similar results. When I hear a student claim to be 'stuck', I usually say 'I'll see you in a few minutes', then I let them get on with it.

The same response will be given to students who say, 'Can you help me, please?'

Can you guess the results? Yes, those who are, in their own words, 'stuck' will sit and wait for help. In effect they have told their brains to shut down, there's no point in trying.

On the other hand, the children who have asked for 'help' will keep working and have often found a solution by the time the teacher arrives.

That's the effect language has on us!

It's worth mentioning that in my classes it's only new students who claim to be stuck. They soon respond to the message that since they're not trees or bushes, they are not 'stuck'!

Some may think this is a denial of reality. But since our language can affect our INTERPRETATION of reality, why not put it to good use, rather than create 'problems'?

As a writer, I often hear people say they'd love to write a book. Recently one young woman said exactly that, then followed up with '. . . but I don't suppose I ever will.'

She wasn't pleased at my reply: 'No, I don't think you ever will.'

But we went on to talk about the effect of negative words and she appreciated where she was going wrong. Remember Henry Ford? 'If you think you can't - you're right!'

So what can we parents do to assist our kids in their education and preparation for life?

We can help them with their language, and we can lead by example by only using positive words ourselves. It won't take them long to realise that 'I can't stand Geography!' will actually hold back their progress.

'Right, I'll be more positive about it!' will bring results.

Now we're on the right track, but what should they do if they're assaulted by negativity from others and lose their way?

This trick may sound ridiculous, but rest assured, it's effective!

It's always best to get off the mark when you meet situations where negativity rules. But when that's not an option, you can pretend that you're enclosed in an enormous bubble or plastic bell jar. And it's mobile, so it goes with you.

Tell yourself that your positive contributions can go out and affect others, but their negative comments bounce off and don't get near you.

Take it for a test drive. You'll like it

Enjoy being a parent!