It makes absolutely no sense to dream about your business venture and then go about implementing it without a well constructed plan. However, that is what thousands of potential business owners do everyday and then they wonder with great surprise as to why they fail at what they are striving to accomplish.

So, I have the perfect solution. If you really don't want to take the time to put this loan or credit line proposal together the correct way, let me save you valuable time by showing you the "express freeway" to getting your business loans denied in only 10 simple steps.

10. News flash: Banks and credit unions are not in the business to make loans. So, do not forge ahead by requesting any type of business financing. But if you insist on asking, make sure you pick a bank that is unfamiliar with your industry, preferably one who has never loaned money to a business similar to yours. Come on. Use uncommon sense.

9. When arriving, go in and "wing it." There is no need for preparation. Take nothing with you to substantiate the funding you are requesting and you are guaranteed to get a quick, no-hassle non-interview with the loan officer. They might share a laugh or two about you.

8. When talking to your banker, ignore all questions. In fact, don't even answer any questions they may ask. On the other hand, if you are compelled to speak, this would be the perfect time to verbally show how ignorant and unprepared you really are about the whole lending process.

7. Your demeanor or attitude is not important. Portray yourself as the apologetic loser you really are because, let's face it, there are always other banks down the street where you can always bore to death and take advantage of. Don't tell me this is not a major image booster.

6. Dress casual. What does this mean? Suits are out. Ties are too formal. Try to use your casual wardrobe just like the ones you way to clean your house in or in mowing the lawn. Shorts and sandals make for an exceedingly successful impression.

5. Now here's a tricky one. When submitting loan information, the best thing to do is to stretch the truth. Let's face it... lenders never waste their time by substantiating facts on an application. So, by all means exaggerate until your hearts content.

4. And for heavens sake, don't worry about being neat. It's overrated. Your loan application doesn't have to be legible to be approved. Why take the unnecessary time and energy in typing your application. I always find it convenient carrying an extra crayon, preferably a blue one in my handy dandy pocket.

3. Allow the loan officer to push you around and be somewhat disrespectful. But hold your ground at the end by forcing the banker to give you a preliminary decision on the approval of your loan even though your application may not be finished.

2. One of the most important ideas to convey is to make sure they clearly understand that there are NO risks involved with lending or extending credit lines to you and your business today. Remember that bankers are not the 'sharpest tools in the shed.' If you tell them 'this is a sure thing', they'll believe you. Why wouldn't they.

(Drum roll please...)

And finally, the last in our Top Ten - 1. Murphy's law states... the first loan is always the easiest to get. Who cares if they don't know you and you don't have an account with them. Apply anyway. And always ask for more money than needed. It probably wouldn't hurt to take them to dinner or slip them a $5 bill. This can only help in getting your huge commercial loan or unsecured business credit line approved.

While there are many more areas that we could discuss, this 10 step guide as to what NOT to do when it comes to approaching banks for business or investment funds. Of course, I cannot think of one good reason why you wouldn't get denied by any bank by simply using these foolish amateur tactics.

But if any of this goes against all grains of sanity and you still possess the crazy idea that you could be one of the few, the proud who would get an approval for these unsecured credit lines and business loans, then contact us if you must.

We will do our best to accomodate your banking needs while carefully showing you how you should have applied for your bank loan even though time wise we are burning both ends of the candle." Go figure...