As a new speaker I remember waiting for my turn on stage. The longer it took the closer I came to physical illness. It was a horrible experience. But, oddly enough, after just a few minutes on stage, the fear was gone. For a long time I did not speculate about that, I was just glad the experience was over.



Now, decades later as a professional speaker and coach to those making speeches, I returned to that interesting phenomenon, the vanishing fear. This is what I have learned about managing that fear.

Its a normal and necessary occurrence. It is what keeps us sharp and focused on what we are doing. It becomes a problem only when we cannot manage the level of fear, and it prevents us from speaking when it could be beneficial to our audience, our career, or our life.

So, what causes this fear, and how do we deal with it?

At its most basic level, its a fear of being embarrassed or humiliated in public, a rather universal fear. But its also more then that.

The real answer came from, Dr. Ilya Prigogine, a Belgian physicist and Nobel Laureate chemist noted for his work on dissipative structures, complex systems, and irreversibility. (Dont worry, Ill keep this non-technical.) Dr. Prigogine discovered that human beings (and every other self-organizing structure) organize themselves and grow by taking in energy and dissipating it to the environment.

Stress happens when we are exposed to more energy then we can handle. Think of those times when you were given too much work to do in too little time. You became overwhelmed. You could not dissipate the available energy.

Now, think about all the energy involved in giving a speech. You have a lot of anticipatory energy to deal with along with some anxious energy about your content. These are the what ifs that the little voice inside your head is bugging you about. Then there is the expectation energy from the audience. It is definitely a high energy situation before you begin to speak and the energy does not have an outlet.

If that is not bad enough, think about where your mental focus lies. You are saying things to yourself like, I hope I dont make a mistake. Dont flub that one line Are my clothes looking alright? In other words, you are totally focused internally on your fears and insecurities.

Do you remember the viral movie The Secret? The main message of that movie was The Law of Attraction; what ever you focus your mind on, is what you get more of. So, if you focus on what is scaring you, what should you expect to get more of? Thats right, fear. And its fear that has no place to go.

Its little wonder that speaking scares the life out of people. Lets see, we start off nervous and then we scare ourselves half to death. How do we deal with this? Its simple really. We just need five easy steps.

1.Take the uncertainty out of the equation. This is the basis of the what ifs that will plague your mind before you speak. Do your research. Find out everything about the audience and their expectations. Anything else that you may be uncertain of also needs to be moved into the known category.

2.Practice, practice, practice. The more you practice the less worried you will be about your performance. Practice in front of a mirror until you are confident enough to practice in front of your spouse or some other supportive person.

3.Before you speak, calm yourself. Dr. Andrew Weil teaches what he calls The Calming Breath. Its a Tibetan breathing exercise that calms your internal energy. It simple to describe, but takes some practice. Inhale to the count of 4, hold your breath to the count of 7, and exhale to the count of 8. All you have to remember is 4-7-8. It will help even more if you can visualize calming energy being inhaled and the nervous energy leaving your body on the exhaled breath. If it helps, give the energy colors to help- you visualize it. When you practice this start off with only four sets. While this may sound simple, it has a rather profound physiological effect. So, dont do this exercise if you have any medical problems that deep breathing could worsen.

4.Put a new frame around this picture. Everyone has an internal frame of reference. Its what helps us make sense of what we see. If your frame of reference is how nervous you are and the mistakes you might make, you are setting yourself up for trouble. Reframe this picture from an internal reference to an external reference. Focus your mind instead on the needs of the audience. Think about the great information you will be giving them. Think of how it may beneficially affect their lives. This also provides an outlet for some of that energy we talked about earlier.

5.Dont expect perfection. People who focus on being perfect have nothing to fall back on if a mistake is made. Their presentation can fall apart. So relax. Set an intention to do the best you can, knowing that it will not be perfect. If you make a mistake, and you probably will, just shrug it off and keep going. But understand the audience wants you to succeed. They are there to hear you; they are on your side. As soon as you begin to speak, all the energy you have inside that is making you so nervous has an outlet. The nerves and fear evaporate, and your focus is completely on your speech. And it will be great.