"Love is a many-splendored thing; it's the April rose that only grows in the early spring". Sounds pretty corny right? You would never know by today's standards that this was a hit song for many years. Corny or not that is how love can affect the most hard core individuals among us. And the number one way to find out about your April rose is through dating.



Simply put you want to know if the other person is right for you. Unless the two of you have decided on another course for your relationship, dating can be a great indicator whether or not you desire to share your life with the other person and vice versa. No it cannot guarantee one hundred percent compatibility, probably because no such thing really exists. As the great jazz trumpeter Miles Davis once said, "If you agree with everything I say and do, then you must be me." As you know many couples are at the extreme opposites when it comes to likes and dislikes, yet they have a happy relationship that endures. Nobody goes into a serious commitment expecting to break up after a couple weeks.

If you want to know if this person is THE ONE, then you must ask yourself the following: "how do you really feel?"

It is so easy for our emotions to get carried away from the tidal wave of romance. Everything feels great; everything the other person says and does is just wonderful. Not! And once the water recedes, you are stuck with someone whom you suddenly realize annoys the daylights out of you. Do not be afraid to put your emotions aside and do some cold hard evaluation.

Is their something they do or a habit they have that sets your teeth on edge when anybody else does it? Can you live with it? One of the many mistakes people make in dating is the belief that these idiosyncrasies do not matter because they will be able to mold the other person to become EXACTLY what they desire. In most cases that is nothing more than a pipe dream. Besides that, do you really want to go about changing the person that you say you are in love with? If you have done an honest assessment and came to the conclusion you can accept your partner, warts and all, then go for it.

And what about your partner? Do you do something that irritates them? How do they handle it? Even if they wrap their criticism in gentle humor, it still means they are registering their disapproval. Chances are that when you get married that criticism will be less kind. Are you okay with that? It is one thing to criticize here and there but constant disparagement is rough. It is a way to control the other person by keeping them on the defensive and sowing the seeds of self doubt. If you or your partner is on this path, then both of you are going to be unpleasantly surprised at the outcome.

No one is perfect. We all have our good and bad points so the question you need to ask yourself is can the two of you live with it? That means accepting each other without imposing conditions or expecting change (as we all know change has to come from within). If after the evaluation stage is over, the answer remains a strong and committed yes, then go for it and enjoy your own many-splendored thing.