Most parents’ entire lives are loyally devoted to their children. Since my family resides in Chicago, I made an emotional sacrifice in terms of remaining in New Jersey after my divorce, even though I so desperately needed the comfort and support of my family to tell me everything would work itself out and end up all right. Instead, I opted to remain in the Garden State so my children would grow up closer to the extended family they were most comfortable with. I figured why tamper with a situation if it works, right? Why uproot them just because I selfishly wanted to relocate? Besides, I didn’t want my children going through any form of separation anxiety so I swallowed my agony and stayed put.



Parenting is difficult enough without the added insult of having to watch your babies grow up and then tell you what you don’t know, or what you’re doing wrong or should be doing relative to their lives and wellbeing.

After many months of trying to persuade, cajole and ultimately threaten your young adults to do one thing or another, and lastly demanding that they adhere to or follow the directions that you, the one supposedly coupled with wisdom and the foresight of what’s always been within their best interest, convince yourself that it’s time for the nucleus that you’ve grown accustomed to for many, many years and you, to divide.

Your reasoning? You’ve brought them this far, having the appearance of being emotionally well balanced, of sound mind coupled with an equal amount of resilience, determination and tenacity to live life as respectful and prosperous citizens in this world of ours. Now you second guess yourself. Thinking, maybe, just maybe, you didn’t do a good job in the end. Perhaps, you should re-think this entire living arrangement with a new attitude as well as a new lease on life. Your life.

These young adults nowadays, unbeknownst to them, will let you know when they want you to view them as “adults", they’ll also let you know when they’re ready to live their lives as “adults." Why talk the talk when you can encourage them to step it up a notch and walk the walk?

To assist them with their innovative stride, you believed it was time for them to live exclusively on their own. Lock, stock and barrel, on their own. Or better yet, any place other than with you! YOU - the clueless one who astoundingly chucked her baby birds out of their nests! (I always say, people will teach you how to treat them even if they aren’t aware of the lessons they, themselves, bring to the table).

You say to yourself, I’m still a “looker", still have a decent figure with minimal dents and bumps to cry about. You make a pretty good salary so you won’t have to worry about Fido and you starving to death so, why not give it a shot and live on your own? Sometimes, life brings forth a new way of handling an old problem, doesn’t it? Hmm....

Now although a move like this would probably be next to ecstatic where most people are concerned, but to some it's traumatic. At least at first thought, it could be traumatic – only for the lighthearted. That is until a few of your “seasoned-at-living-footloose-and-fancy-free" girlfriends and concerned relatives enlightened you to the gratifications and inevitable perks that benefit those who live alone. Hence, you slowly began to look forward to a new way of life. Still not too sure though.

Mind you, you never lived completely on your own before. You always had a husband, children, or a long-time beau who just had to live with you.

So, here you are about to begin life anew and on the utmost of unfamiliar territory. Unquestionably, you will be totally On Your Own. This is bad.

Sometime later:

As you come home from a long day at the grind, kick off your shoes and peel off your monkey suit, you realize it’s just you, the sounds of the logs burning in the fireplace and Fido as he snuggles soundly at the base of your feet. No need to yell at anyone because the dishes aren’t washed, or scream at the top of your lungs because your electric bill exceeds the cost of your mortgage due to your offspring keeping the thermometer blasting at 80 degrees heating an empty house. All you must contend with these days is you and the issues that immediately surround your life.

And you thought living On Your Own was bad? Puhleeze!!!