Do you consider yourself to be a 'people person'? If not, are you the exact opposite where you are just content sitting in the background waiting for others to notice you? Or, are you somewhere in the middle of the two? No matter which of these three categories you belong, one thing is clear: even on the most superficial level, man needs to socially interact in order to survive. If you would like to work on your being less of a wallflower and lean more towards being a people person, there are some steps that you can take which will lead to social skills development.
First, take a look at the advantages of social skills development:
1. You and the people around you will benefit if your social skills will be developed and enhanced.
If you are used to blending in the midst of the crowd or you dislike being the center of attention, you may not be giving yourself the opportunity to develop better personal relationships and meet other wonderful people aside from those who are already in your social circle. If you can hold your own in a conversation, if you can speak coherently in front of a large group of people or even on stage, if you know how to make other people feel comfortable - then both you and the people around you will benefit through your social skills development.
Not only will your self-confidence improve, but you will also feel more comfortable in the fact that you can handle yourself in any given situation - and you are not afraid to commit a social blunder. On the other hand, the people around you will be attracted to your enthusiasm and the self-confidence, and the positive air that you exude so you will have better chances of widening your social circle and enhancing your personal relationships.
2. You can learn about conflict management and you will have a better understanding of the way that people interact in a social setting.
Through social skills development, you will have the ability to adapt to all sorts of personalities and you will gain the confidence to fit in any given situation. Skills like knowing how to communicate effectively, how to resolve conflicts, how to actively listen to what other people are saying and learning how to interpret the body language of other people to know how they are feeling so that you can formulate an appropriate response are all part of social skills development. With these abilities, you can hold your own in any social setting.
3. The positive impact of social skills development will give you a better quality of life.
If you compare the social life of a timid woman to one who has a bubbly, infectious personality - you will see a big difference starting from the number of friends that they keep. By keeping mostly to yourself, you are limiting your social and professional opportunities to the people that you already know. On the other hand, if you will learn how to think positively, the way that you look at life will give other people the impression that you are fun to be with.
Also, in a professional setting, your superiors and colleagues will see your potential in people management because you are excelling in a professional environment. Social skills development will definitely have a positive impact in your life as a whole, since you are getting a go at widening and enriching your social interactions.
With social skills development, you will feel more confident with the way that you handle yourself in a social or professional environment.
Development Of Social Skills
There are many different social skills and the impact they have on other people varies. Acting on two or three "easy" skills isn't enough. The best results are achieved when several skills are used in combination with one another. The expression "the total is greater than the sum of its parts" resonates loudly with respect to social skills. When individuals combine various skills such as listening, making small talk, giving compliments, maintaining eye contact, greeting others warmly, and many others, they will experience more social success in many different situations.
Strong social skills include (among others):
- active listening
- knowing how to greet others
- conversing and making small talk
- building a friendly rapport
- complimenting others
- offering praise and encouragement
- showing support and understanding
- acknowledging others
- saying 'thank you'
Techniques and methods are available to develop all social skills. Knowing what to say and how to act are basic social skills that anyone can learn. Here are five tips for improving social skills:
1. Start with the skills that feel the most comfortable to you.
There is such a wide variety of social skills to learn that you can begin with the skills with which you feel the most comfortable.
It can be as simple as constructing a meaningful "thank-you," a compliment or using a technique to remember names. Practicing these skills in situations where a comfort level already exists builds confidence and, as more skills are added, begins to establish good interpersonal relationships.
2. Work on your social skills before you're in a situation where you really need them.
When you're using skills such as giving quality feedback or negotiating, it's better to have established a rapport, whenever possible, with the individuals involved prior to beginning these discussions. These kinds of situations have the potential to be difficult and intimidating, so having positive interactions before these situations come up will make them much easier to approach.
Constant maintenance of good relationships builds a strong foundation so there's a better chance of weathering challenging times. These interactions can be very simple - from greeting colleagues in the elevator to acknowledging others on the workshop floor to making small talk at staff meetings. Over time, these small interactions make a big difference in your relationships and ongoing success.
3. Make a point of interacting with others in familiar situations.
When you've learned some techniques, start practicing your new social skills in your daily life. This could be at a work meeting where you speak to someone you haven't talked to before or to someone with whom you've never had any significant conversation. You could be at your vet's office talking to another pet owner about their pet or picking up your child from daycare and beginning a conversation with another parent.
These situations are based on common ground so a topic for discussion already exists and you're not trying to establish one. As well, you'll meet up with most of these people again - at work, in another meeting, the next day at daycare - so you can start to establish a friendly rapport with them.
4. Events to Attend, Invitations to Accept and Clubs or Associations to Join
Once you have learned a few social skills techniques, challenge yourself by attending events or social gatherings to try out your new skills.
It's probably easier and less stressful for the beginner to go to an event where there is a main attraction - such as a keynote speaker, panel discussion or performance - so that the pressure to interact is lessened, but the opportunity to meet people and to interact is still there. If the occasion focuses solely on the interaction between guests, such as a dinner party, it may put more pressure on the beginner to be "on" for the entire evening.
Alternatively, if you're already comfortable in the company of others, a dinner party would be ideal to practice your social skills and reunite with friends and acquaintances, make new friends, have good conversations and simply have a good time with everyone else.
Membership in clubs and associations brings together individuals who share common interests and is a basis for mutually satisfying conversation and ongoing interaction. Implementing social skills in these situations is easier than having to discover areas of interest or expertise from scratch - although this is easy to do when you have the skills.
When working on your skills, it's very important to put yourself in situations where you can act on them - even if it makes you uncomfortable. Keep the techniques in mind, knowing that with practice the skills become easier and easier to use.
5. Practice
The more frequently you interact with others and put yourself in situations where you're meeting, working or getting to know someone, the more your skills will develop and the easier they become. Continual practice as you go about your daily activities is never time wasted - you're building and strengthening your interpersonal relationships as you improve your skills.
Social skills are, and will always be, an important part of ongoing, daily interactions. They're not something learned one day and forgotten the next. They require a continuous, conscious awareness of the various skills. Fortunately, it doesn't take a long time nor a lot of effort to develop good social skills; the rewards are certainly worth it.
Both Peter Murphy & are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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