Self punishment is basically allowing negative emotions to take control over your life. But what are negative emotions? Is it possible to define them? Actually, it is not. There is no emotion that is, in itself, negative. Its what you do with it that makes it negative. Sure, we are all taught that things like greed and anger are emotions we should fight against. Let's see if this is really true.



Greed is an emotion of wanting more than you need. But this is just an extension of desire to have things that you need, but do not possess. If we did not have the desire to want a better quality of life or go on a bigger and better vacation, why would be bother to work and work better to improve our rewards? This is a positive emotion but when it gets out of control, it becomes negative. When you can't sleep because your car is not as good as your neighbor's, you are punishing yourself.

When we see injustice being done we are right to get angry. Without anger at wrongs, there would be no desire to change them. But if that anger is not translated into action to try to correct the injustice and stays within us, it becomes negative. Walking around with pent up anger is self punishment because it leaves no room for any positive emotions.

Why do these things happen? Its because we allow emotional vacuums to develop in ourselves. And since a vacuum is an unnatural state, something has to fill it and these are usually the negative emotions.

You have to make a choice in life. What is bigger and more important - you or the punishment you are inflicting on yourself? If you say its you, then why not do something about it? Why not fill the emotional vacuum with something more positive so that there is not need for the self punishing emotions to enter?

Its not unnatural to want a better car. But if you spend your time thinking - "If only I had done.....I would have the money for the car" to "If only I had not bought.... I would have had more money today", what are you doing but punishing yourself? And does it help you in any way? Will this bring you nearer to your goal? The trick is to accept that you made a mistake or bought something you didn't need and remember these as fact that will prevent you from making the same mistake again. To keep brooding about them and punishing yourself will take your focus away from the important things in your life and make achieving your goals even harder.

If you didn't make mistakes, you would have wings and a halo. Accept yourself for what you are, blemishes and all, and stop punishing yourself for having faults and having made mistakes. If you keep yourself positive, there will be no vacuum for the self punishing emotions to be sucked into.

We are conditioned to punish ourselves. One of the first things we are taught is that if we do something bad we need to be punished for it. But punishment is not an end it itself. It is only a teaching method that allows us to see our mistakes. To keep on punishing ourselves after we realize what we have done wrong takes away the focus from not making the same mistakes again.

Getting rid of negative emotions is not enough. If you rid yourself of greed and the guilt associated with it, you will just create the vacuum for other negative emotions or guilt to enter. You need to take control and understand that you are bigger than the emotions that make you keep punishing yourself. Each time you learn from your mistakes you become stronger and wiser, and the more you learn the more YOU are and the less the vacuum.