Were I to attempt to define the word ¨disillusionment¨, I would have to say that it means a combination of lost hope or faith and a loss of direction. With that definition, one can see how easily disillusionment in one area of your life can influence the other areas of your life. You could be disillusioned with people from family to strangers, jobs and careers or even disillusioned with oneself.



Many of us can identify with instances of disillusionment but there are even cases of a permeating disillusionment that can socially and professionally cripple a person. I can identify with several periods of disillusionment in my life and overcoming that disillusionment took several years in some situations. Divorce, job and career unsatisfaction and even unhappy family relationships could make anyone want to give up. What really happens to cause disillusionment? The causes of disillusionment may surprise us if we really look more closely at the root causes. From a layman´s psychological view, I pondered the causes of disillusionment and managed to narrow them down to four things: unfair or unrealistic viewpoints, false perceptions, unattainable expectations from people or situations and a lack of humility on the part of the disillusioned person.

In terms of unfair or unrealistic viewpoints, one could make assumptions that actually paint a picture worse than it really is. When our viewpoints don't manifest themselves in concrete evidence to substantiate those views, we can become disillusioned. One example of this type of unrealistic viewpoint may be our view that we are the best at whatever it is that we do and everyone should acknowledge it and the rewards of our endeavors should always substantiate our viewpoint. Sometimes people don't hold the same opinions as us, but that does not necessarily mean that we are not free to feel as we do, but we should at least respect the fact that others are entitled to their differing viewpoints and that we may not get the acknowledgment or reward that we feel we may deserve.

Sometimes we have very unrealistic and unattainable expectations of people or situations. Many parents may feel that their children should be better athletes or better scholars, but the truth is that many people (even our children) simply cannot be better athletes or scholars. I became very disillusioned as a parent when my son repeatedly failed school and could not seem to perform well in any sport. But the truth is that he wasn't the worst scholar and he needed motivation and help in some areas to get better in the type of sports he was interested in. By not expecting him to be an outstanding scholar or athlete, I learned to appreciate his accomplishments no matter how few or how far between I felt they were. I'm certainly not the best parent and my son has also confessed being disillusioned as a child at one time or another with me as a mother. Talking about our different viewpoints was the turning point in our relationship and we are much better friends now. Openly discussing disillusionments with the appropriate individuals can probably alleviate further aggravation of the problems that result from disillusionment.

In many cases (certainly not all cases), the roots of disillusionment, judging by the previously stated factors, seem to stem from a lack of humility. Unrealistic viewpoints and unrealistic expectations are typically a result of our unwillingness to consider other possibilities or viewpoints in a given situation. In truth, if we could accept that people will sometimes disagree with us and not fully embrace our viewpoints, then perhaps we will not formulate unrealistic expectations of people or situations. Basically, if you never expect too much of people or situations, you may rarely ever encounter serious disappointments and the resulting disillusionment.

Disillusionment can probably be fixed in a number of traditional ways, among these are investing time and money in a self-improvement program or seeing a qualified spiritual counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist. One should never ignore the advantages of talking things out. In conclusion, above all we should be fair to others and ourselves and seek to maintain a balanced view of things. Then, even when disappointments and disillusionment happen, we can still maintain a stable view and avoid that overwhelming disillusionment that can paralyze us socially and professionally by alienating us from people who probably really only want to express and maintain their own views much like anyone else- even ourselves.