I am an Orange County, California Divorce Attorney and this article is a part of series that details the divorce process. When you subscribe to my newsletter which is linked below you will have access to all of my articles. This article is not intended as and should not be relied upon as legal advice or as the creation of an attorney-client relationship. Feel free to contact me at Jon@oc-familylawyers.com to arrange a free confidential consultation. Thank you for reading.



Divorce sometimes comes as a surprise in but more often than this result of a conflict that's been building up over a long period of time.

irregardless of how it actually occurs, it's important you take steps to protect yourself and your children and your finances. And please note that there is a wrong way and a right way to do this. If you follow the steps outlined below you will protect your interests in a manner that is both fair and reasonable.

Sadly, in divorce one spouse is often at a disadvantage and suffers detriment due to unequal bargaining power. If you follow these steps, however, you will not be disadvantaged. In a perfect world, you and your spouse would be able to workout all of your problems and reach a compromise in a reasonable fashion. Unfortunately, things often become adversarial. Follow the steps outlined below to protect your interests. Be aware, though, that you should make a good-faith effort to reach a compromise with your spouse before acting rashly.

Your first priority should be to protect her children in the event you have children. To do so: (1) obtain a TRO; (2) do not allow your spouse to leave and take the children; (3) stay in the family home; and (4) insist on a 50% split for parenting time. First, obtain a temporary restraining order, which specifically prevents your spouse from taking the children out of state. You want to avoid a custody battle that extends across state lines. If you do this that will help with the second item listed above, not allowing your spouse to take the kids and run. Third, if you have moved out of the family home you may have seriously impacted your ability to obtain custody.

However, if you have already moved out you should move back immediately. This may cause stressful living situation but you can attempt to defuse the situation by suggesting a time sharing agreement until custody and divorce issues are resolved. Fourth, you should not agree to settle for less than 50% custody. Your spouse does not have any greater rights to spend more time with your children and you. Furthermore, if you accept less time now you will be setting a precedent for the future. Make sure to insist upon a 50-50 split

To protect your finances and yourself: make sure to visit my website that has the rest of this article in its entirety. And while you're there make sure to sign up for my newsletter! Thank you. Very truly yours, Jon D. Alexander, Esq.