Simply ask better questions!



You might opt to ask yourself whether you are happy. Sometimes, when things have gone smoothly, the answer may be 'yes' and you will feel the confidence and joy that result. Other times, if you have not had a good day and your level of confidence is low, the answer may be 'no'. At these times, you can make yourself feel even worse than before asking just knowing you aren't happy.

Ask a more suitable question, such as what is there that you are already happy about. Often, people will remember things that they normally just take for granted when they aren't seeing them in the context of happiness. When you consider these things, you find yourself in a more productive frame of mind instead of throwing an energy-draining 'pity party'.

How about work? Maybe you are not getting the bonuses, raises and recognition that you might deserve. Ask yourself why your boss does not seem to see your abilities and reward you based on them. The answer you get might be that your boss is not a good boss and there is not much if anything you can do about it.

It would be better to ask the more fundamental question of where you might improve to receive the awards and recognition you desire. There are times when this question will lead you to discover areas where you could improve your job performance that you thought were already okay. It isn't easy to be this honest with yourself but id is far better than your boss telling where your are coming up short.

You may not be able to answer the question yourself, so talk to your boss and ask him/her about your job performance. Don't wait for the yearly evaluation to find out from him/her. It could be too late to make a difference then.

Pay close attention while talking to your boss. If you are not getting answers that are concise enough for you to take action on, rephrase your question to get better answers. For instance, if he/she states that there is not enough detail in your reports, ask if he/she could be more specific as to what would be needed to make the reports have sufficient detail.

Asking questions rather than waiting to be told shows initiative and the desire to improve where ever possible. Your boss will very likely see it as a challenge if you wait until you are called on a poorly completed job if you ask the same exact questions then. Being proactive rather than reactive is a far better choice.

If your self-examination shows that you do good work but you are still not getting the recognition you should, you have two options - complain about it or ask yourself if looking for a different job would be best. In the event of a 'no' answer, your next question should be concerning the benefit of staying with that job. The experience you gain could be enough benefit to merit keeping that job for a while longer.

Asking better questions is applicable to all areas of life. The hard part is asking the right questions that will give you solutions to your problems rather than making them bigger.

Ask yourself why you are unhappy or doing poorly with job assignments or other projects and you will discovers answers that reveal to you the reasons for your unhappiness or poor job performance. This is not what you need to know to take corrective action. You need to ask questions that will provide you with the information needed to take the proper corrective action.

You might think that you should do what is opposite of what you have learned to be what you shouldn't do. That has the sound of reason. The dilemma is that negativity is what is attracted and absorbed by your mind if that is what you are mostly putting in. This means that the elements you attract are the negative ones. It is vital to bring in positive elements to take action on with the answers you you get from your questions.

Is this applicable at social events as well? Certainly!

The usual question is "how are you?" and the standard response is "fine, thank you" and that about concludes the entire conversation. It is best to question the individual you are talking to about something of interest to him or her.

Most people know what they like. A good type of question to ask is along the lines of "have you seen any good movies lately?" When you are told, you can follow up with "what did you like best about it?" Usually, he/she will enjoy telling you what he/she liked. Or you might ask whether he/she read any books that he/she enjoyed. Then ask what he/she thought of the book mentioned.

Just remember one thing: if you aren't getting the results you want and this has you frustrated, simply ask a question that will lead you to the solution you need.

You will be surprised what asking better questions can do to change the way you see yourself.