Alcoholism in the family can have a devastating effect. Whether it be a mother, father, husband or wife that is the alcoholic, it has the ability to destroy a family and leave lasting scars.



If you've been in a long-term relationship with an alcoholic, codependency is almost inevitable, which essentially means that as a codependent you suffer from relationship addiction.

A codependent relationship is harmful because it tends to be one-sided and emotionally unfullfilling. Typically you won't realise what's going on because your needs have become secondary - and if you have kids they also suffer as a result because they pick up on what's going on, which can leave long-term scars.

Naturally the impact of alcoholism on the marriage or relationship poses all sorts of problems - so eventually you may get to a point whether you question whether it's in your best interests (and that of your children's) - to actually stay in the relationship. Divorce may then become a very real option for you - and the whole alcoholism and divorce conundrum is something you may seriously have to consider.

Having come from a family in which alcoholism caused so much heartbreak, I know that there is no easy path and that there just isn't a right or wrong answer. Everyone's situation is unique. How bad is the alcoholism, how are the children being effected, is there abused involved? - are the kinds of questions only you can know the answer to - and will provide clues as to what you should do.

Eventually something you will have to do is begin taking a stand and practising tough love - if there is to be any hope that things will change. You're going to have to draw a line in the sand and say that 'this is it.'

This is when doing an intervention could be your trump card - because if done properly, and done well - it could well get your partner or spouse into proper treatment, and so be the start of things turning around.

At the end of the day though, there just isn't a quick fix solution. It will definitely help speaking to, and meeting others, who have gone through what you have. Al-Anon, is a great support network and excellent place for you to start. The worst thing in the world you can do, is try to keep things covered up and be ashamed of what is happening - so don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help because there is lots of it out there.