If you're planning to go out for the night to a social club or bar to do some flirting or dating, you must be sure that you've adequately considered safety. Ideally go out with at least one other person, and think about how you're going to get home. Perhaps arrange to call someone half-way through the evening, or if you get into trouble. (If you arrange for someone to call you, make sure your phone is switched on and set so that you can tell it's ringing!)



You need to know that although you do not usually make the initial approach, you are trying to get a man to do that, and that takes a lot of confidence for the man. Make it easier for him by being alone or in a small group of people. If you want to filter out less confident men, stay with a larger group, but if you do this then be aware that it will reduce the number of people who approach you. If your group includes men, try to make it clear that you are not with any of them by not being too close to them if possible! Keep an awareness of your body language while performing the following steps, making sure it is open and friendly:

1. You see someone you like across the club floor. You want him to approach you. At this point, catch his eye for a bit longer than you would normally be comfortable with, flash him a broad smile, look away and look back again. The next thing to try is tossing your hair while looking at him. Then keep glancing at him for a while. You could try dancing alone to whatever music is playing, if you're in a nightclub. Beckon towards an empty seat if you are sitting down. If he approaches, you have succeeded! If he doesn't after you've sent this many green lights, maybe he is not interested or too shy; this could be for any number of reasons, so the best bet is to move on.

2. If you succeeded in getting hiim to make an approach, he's come over towards you, and started a conversation. Try to keep the conversation going through all of the following stages. The next stage is to turn towards him. Start with your face, following with your shoulders, then your torso, and finally legs and feet. If he does the same, he is showing interest, and it will help the flirting to proceed.

3. Once you are ready, touch him! If you're not ready to do that, but you are happy for him to touch you, position yourself such that you are close enough for him to touch you. You could touch him to point something out, to move both of you somewhere quieter, or even to remove a piece of possibly imaginary lint. You will be sending a powerful signal by doing this. People like to be touched! If he touches you, return the touch. Expect him to return the touch if you do it first.

4. The next stage is called mirroring, and often happens subconsciously. You will both tend to adopt similar postures, and when one person changes some aspect of their posture, the other often follows suit within about a minute. To get to this stage quickly, you can adopt whatever posture he has, and then adjust it as he does. Don't make it too soon after he changes his posture, and make sure you don't give the impression that you are doing whatever he does! You can then start to lean forward towards him (if you are sitting down), perhaps move closer to him so that you can hear him better, and he will hopefully do the same. To flirt successfully, it's best to be at least a little bit closer than you would be if you were "just friends," even if that's all you are at that point!

If you get to this point, you should be able to lead matters to whatever conclusion you want! You're both showing interest, not too excessively, and you should be able to enjoy what's rest of the night together. Have fun!