The key is to treat your emotions as mysteries to be solved. They are useful clues.



Every emotion you experience is a clue you can follow. So put on your Sherlock hat and light up your pipe (your imaginary one, of course.)

Every emotion, negative or positive, has something useful to tell you. Figuring out the message is critical. Here's an example of how to follow an emotional clue:

Let's say you start to feel emotional discomfort because you can't have ice cream on vacation with your family. The first step is to sort out your strong emotion, before saying anything to your family.

Check in with Yourself

Ask yourself, "What feeling am I having?"

If your emotion is difficult to identify, start with the main ones. Ask yourself, "Am I sad, mad, glad, scared, or confused?" Maybe this time you think mad is the closest to what you think you're feeling.

Continue with questions like, "What is my anger (or whatever emotion you've identified) telling me?" Maybe your answer would be, "My anger is telling me I can't eat things I love anymore." In this case the emotion behind not being able to eat is loss.

Dig Deeper

So, ask yourself, "What is my feeling of loss telling me?" You may answer, "My feeling of loss is telling me I have made a big change in my diet and it's hard. I feel sad."

When you have identified sadness ask yourself, "What is this sadness telling me? Is there an action I need to take? Is there something I need to accept?"

Allow Yourself to Feel the Uncomfortable Emotion

Sometimes sitting with an uncomfortable emotion is the action you need to take. Sadness often needs time and acceptance. Instead of eating, or lashing out at your family, let yourself feel the sadness.

You may need to take a short walk by yourself, or find a quiet place to sit and journal for a few minutes. You may need to phone someone in your support group who will understand how you feel. You may need to cry for a minute or two (or more!).

Be Gentle with Yourself

Ask yourself, "How would I treat someone I care about if they were very sad right now because they couldn't eat? What would I do for them?"

Give yourself the same respect and comfort. Accept that you're going to feel a little sad for awhile. Then remind yourself that no one stays sad forever. All emotions pass in time -- and usually in a shorter time than you expect.

Reframe Your Feelings about Your Emotions

By calling your emotions "clues" instead of "crises" you can discover your emotional-eating triggers and develop an action strategy (like journaling or calling a friend) instead of a reaction response (yelling at your family or indulging in an unhealthy food to get rid of your strong emotion).

The best solution for emotional eating is for you to become an ace detective. Treat your emotions as intriguing mysteries to be solved, not pains to be numbed. Your long-term weight loss depends on it.