More often than not, teenagers of today are thought of as being self-centred, impolite juvenile delinquents who are a total disgrace to their generation. Contrary to the sceptics amongst us, this perception of teenagers is totally incorrect. A teenager need to be spoken to, on his or her level, about sensitive issues or family feud questions that need to be addressed, in a proper manner and you will see how your kids really do count on you, as parents, for guidance, and as the ones that ensure domestic tranquilty. It is never too early to start talking about sensitive matters with your teenagers, but unfortunately it can be too late.



You just might discover that your teen does want you to establish boundaries within the family. They may be rebellious for a short time, but they're really just putting you to the test to see how committed you really are about the boundaries you've set to ensure domestic tranquility.

What are your views on matters such as sex, drugs, alcohol, dating, and anything else that goes on in the world or within your local community? Your beliefs will influence your children, be that in a positive or negative direction, but affected they will be. Therefore they need guidance from you and they need to know that you care about their concerns and beliefs. Parents ought to hash out matters with their kids, in a civil manner and not just give them a list of rules they are expected to follow to the letter. Beware, if you play the role of dictator, you will start a rebellion! Kids require freedom, they need it to explore and to mature. You must make sure they know that they can come to you to discuss anything and everything. If you cannot do that, someone else will..!

* Tell your kids what you require of them both at home and in public.

* Treat them as the independent, young adults that they are and they will be more respectful of you in return.

*Be available, in every sense of the word, when they do come to you with problems or concerns.

It's natural your teen will have queries about topics that they are interested in, and it is important that you never make your teen feel like their comments are stupid or their thoughts immature and don't ignore these matters. Always be up front and be completely honest with them and express your concerns and share your experience with the subjects at hand. This is parent and teenager bonding at its best.

A great way to address your teenager's problems, even before they rise to the surface is to practice with your partner asking questions your teen might ask you. Then discuss and find the answers that will cover their fears or concerns. By doing this, you will be prepared and will be better equipped to enter into a dialogue with your teenager when the situation arises. For obvious reasons, you don't want your child to think his, or her, parents are making fun of them, so only indulge in role play when you are alone with your partner.

Now and again teens will ask questions at the most inopportune time, just as toddlers do. Try not to be knocked off course. Be above board with them and don't sweep the question under the carpet. Talk about it at the time rather than being forced to contradict the information they get from their friends who are more than happy to talk with them about it.

Let your child know if you don't feel comfortable discussing a topic, but that your relationship is more important than a little bit of discomfort. They may be uncomfortable bringing the subject up as well. You don't have to go into every detail of your own teenage years, but using scenarios and lessons you learned should confirm that you wasn't born in a cave!

Not that they would ever agree, but teenagers don't know everything - they need to learn as they grow into adulthood. Your responsibility as a parent doesn't just stop once your child becomes a teen, in fact you just graduate to a another level in your relationship. Take every opportunity to talk with your teen about sensitive issues, puberty, boundaries in relationships, family feud questions and establish boundaries. Do it now while they are still at home, and before it's too late to influence them for the better.