Have you ever wished your spouse were out of your life for good? Or even dead? Don't scoff! Many people think about what life would be like if their spouse died, even wishing it would happen. And Christians are just as guilty of it as non-Christians. While every relationship goes through rough waters, there's nothing about these thoughts that's good for you, your spouse, or your marriage. If you want a healthy marriage, there are a couple of things you can do to avoid these thoughts and restore your relationship.



(1) Repentance is always the first place to start when you have any treacherous thoughts. As part of your repentance, you've got to change your perspective. Thoughts of having your spouse disappear are a sign that you think his or her presence is the cause of your unhappiness. They're also a sign that you're focused on your own gratification, instead of God's pleasure. Turn your focus to pleasing God and loving those around you. Consider your spouse as more important than you -- even your own happiness. And treat your spouse as a child of God.

(2) Pull the log out of your eye. It's quite possible -- maybe even probable -- that you're the cause of the problems you're experiencing, not your spouse. You've got to make sure you've dealt with your side of the equation first. Then you can deal with the sliver in their eye. But mentally throwing your spouse out with the sliver, like throwing the baby out with the bath water, is the wrong way to get rid of a spouse's irritating trait.

(3) Stop giving your spouse the silent treatment when you get into an argument and you don't get your way. Not talking to your spouse is an easy way to pretend for a moment that the other person doesn't exist. Instead of dealing with a hard situation, you're finding an escape. Only this escape doesn't mean you physically leave the house. You just act as if the other person has. It provides temporary relief, but does nothing to solve the problem.

We also know that small things, such as pretending the other person isn't there, will escalate to more extreme thoughts. So stop problems while their small and easier to deal with. If you can't solve an argument on the spot, agree to take some time to pray, cool off, and come back together at an appointed time to continue the discussion. That's the only silent treatment that works.

The best relationships are those in which you invest everything you've got into them. If you want a good marriage, give it your all. Do everything you can to help your spouse succeed. You can't do that if you're wishing evil on them.