"It's like Paris without the Nasty Frenchness" say Montrealers when asked what they like about their home town. Despite being nearer New York than Paris, Montreal citizens love teasing their French founding fathers. Located on an island in Quebec's St Lawrence River, Montreal has Gallic architecture, bistros and cuisine ? and fresh air that you can afford to breathe because of the exchange rate. Montrealers aim to spend no less than three hours daily watching the world go by through a wine glass, they are true flaneur, they never jog when they can stroll, never grab a burger when they can savour a boeuf bourguignon.



My hotel was perfect for flaneuring. The Meriden Versailles is an elegant hotel placed on the beautiful Sherbrooke Boulevard; breakfast was a relaxing gourmet buffet of asparagus quiche, posh cheese and chocolate torte. Flaneuring even exists to the coins in my pocket ? the $1 coin is called a Loony (after the loon bird on it), the $2 a Two-ny and the $5 a Loony Two'ns.

The Biodome lets a family of flaneurs stroll from an Amazonian climate to the Artic, and the Insectarium at the Botanical Garden invites local culinary schools to cook its exhibits, serving chocolate-dipped bugs. Montreal has a huge underground city with no cars, no taxis ? just metro trains and 22 miles of walkways connecting 1,700 shops, 200 restaurants and even 40-odd cinemas, theatres and exhibition halls.

I drifted round very cheap Top Shop ? type stores and food kiosks for ages before I realised what was missing? daylight. Back on the surface, the action is in the Plateau region and the Latin Quarter which looks like the Cotsworld meets New Orleans. ?Eating is a sport here', says Marie Joelle from the tourist authority. There is a selection from Indian, Portuguese, Vietnamese, you name it. But my favourite was Basha on Guy. Plates of grilled lamb, vegetarian couscous and fresh honey pastries were just a few bucks. When former French President Jacques Chirac came to Montreal he went to Ben's at the corner of Maisoneuve and Metcalfe. Being the former French President, he probably knew his lunch, I went along. Ben's was a classic salt beef dinner.

One of the best comedy festivals in the world, Just for Laughs, is also hosted in Montreal. The 20-year-beano gives you a chance to see Jerry Sienfield, Terry Jones and Eric Idle doing their Nudge Nudge, Wink Wink routine. The simultaneous TV and movie festival premiered South Park and My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I headed for the Delta Bar where all the comedians hang out and met Arthur Smith, performing his show Arthur Smith Sings Leonard Cohen. The festival is worth it for such unforgettable acts as goldish-swallowing Stevie ?The Regurgitator' Starr ad Chris ?Rocket Butt' Lynam.

Perhaps the perfect conclusion to a Montreal visit was the Just For Laughs Annual Giant Omelette Day. The Brotherhood of the Omelette (it's a very selective admissions procedure) fries 21,000 eggs with the Federal Co-operative of Quebec Master Cheese Makers (don't even think about getting in). A truly Canadian day out - a party in honour of something ludicrous you can eat - it brought thousands together. And let's face it, if 21,000 eggs don't bind you, nothing will.