In today's mixed family and fatherless homes, there are new studies that suggest that we are suffering from our father's absence. Most of today's adults grew up under the shadow of the Babyboomers. Terms like latchkey kid followed us through childhood as we learned that father's job took precedence over home life.



While our parents may not have foreseen the effect of their quest for wealth, the fact is, research is showing that today's dysfunctional families may be a direct result of the ‘salary' paid generation.

Research at the University of Haifa School of Social Work compares a connection between father-child relationship and the child's ability to achieve interrelation intimacy in adulthood. In non-technical language, this means that adults who had absent fathers are more likely to have problems at work, keeping relationships, and building strong relationships with their own children.

Dr. Nurit Nahmani, examined the quality of father-child relationships among three groups: orphans, children of divorced parents and children of intact families. He found that 82% of children with married parents moved on to enjoy intimate relationship in their adult life, while only 62% of the orphans and 60% of the children of divorced parents managed to sustain a long time relationship.

by Prof. Yossi Guttman and Dr. Amnon Lazar of the University of Haifa, evaluated 231 women and men between the ages of 22 and 32. The research used various parameters to measure the participants' father-child relationship and their capacity for intimacy as reflected in closeness, sexuality and commitment with their adult partners.

While the results of the study are not surprising, they are very telling. Many adults suffer from bad relationships, and even stress related health problems.

The findings found barriers that limited the ability to develop intimate among those whose absent father caused a significant increase in negative emotions and distancing.

The results also noted a correlation between a balanced father-child and the ability to sustain intimate relationships in adulthood. "The results showed that orphans and children of divorced parents experienced different emotional connections with their fathers. The orphans tended to idolize their fathers, while children of divorced parents tended to feel frustration and anger towards their fathers," explained Dr. Nahmani.

The study also noted that a greater feeling of loss towards one's father meant a smaller chance of establishing an intimate relationship in adulthood. "A feeling of loss is connected to the ability or lack of ability in the long term, to adjust to the loss of a father and to experience a change in the relationship with him. 41% of the participants whose father was permanently or partially absent reported a feeling of loss, often accompanied by a fear of being abandoned a second time and reported not being involved in a relationship," she continued.

Dr. Nahmani found that the finding show that the potential for developing intimate relationships exists even when a father was absent during childhood. Those who overcame their difficulties as they matured made it possible to establish quality intimate relationships. This is good news for most.

"The research found a definitive connection between the quality of the father-child relationship and interpersonal relationships later in life. It is vital that we continue to research the long-term effects of losing a father in order to answer the needs of these children over time," noted Dr. Nahmani.