Is our life guided by love or fear?



Is there a connection between the contentment we experience and our choices?

New age spirituality teaches that everything we do can be put on a scheme with two poles to it: fear in the one end – love on the other. For example, some people get married out of love, and a need to unite and commit to each other. Others will do the same act, out of fear of being alone, or fearing that they will not be able to support themselves financially, so they'll marry a wealthy spouse. Some people will open a business in an area they have passion for. John loves to bake so he'll establish a prosperous bakery. Samantha loves clothes and accessories so she'll open a unique boutique. Dan, on the other hand, will establish a construction company, because he heard that "there's big money in construction". The same act, opening a business, two totally different motivations.

Down deep in every step we take there is one of the two. Love or fear. As a matter of fact,

Fear is a lack of love. Not an entity on its own right. It paralyzes, holds back and preserves the existing statu quo. Love dares, breaks forward, opens new options and directions. Each one of us have this little inner voice, that knows exactly what to do in any given moment and situation. We choose weather to hear it or not, and then – whether to operate accordingly. We should aspire, off course, to make as many love-motivated decisions possible. That's the key to happiness.

Here's a little exercise: think about major decisions you made in your life. For example: Choosing a career, moving away, relationship, business partnership. Which ones made you, and still make you feel good about it and about yourself? Knowing that you did "the right thing"? This feeling, this good feeling indicates that the decision was mainly love - based. When you feel sorrow, regret, "I had no choice", "It was a mistake", that's an indication that somehow, at that point in time, fear was managing you. When we make fear-based decisions, the consequences will not be as good as those which are love-motivated. The marriage will be cooler; the business will not be as prosperous. Why? Think of a talented hair dresser, that loves his work. The clients feel this passion, and his shop will be very busy, because people are attracted to love. Think about two restaurants, right next to each other. One is packed, and in the other you don't see a dog's tail. Again, someone is cooking with love, and people can feel and experience it.

Did you see the elderly couple barely walking, still holding hands in the park? Did they marry 60 years ago, as a financial arrangement? Probably not.

How can we know whether the decisions we make are fear based or love based? The next time you hesitate about a certain issue: Should I leave my job or stay? Should I tell my daughter how I really feel about her new boyfriend? Should I bring another child to the world? Should I help my little brother financially? Just take a deep breath and connect to your inner voice. Do you feel scared, contracted, moving away from? This is how fear feels. Joy, excitement, relief and anticipation towards the future, these are indications of love.

The more love based choices we make the better we feel about ourselves and others.

A happy person is one which most of his choices are made from a true place, by lovingly listening to his inner voice.