The first romance myth is that you should not have to work at romance and that if you are in love it should just happen without effort. Romance takes work; it takes spontaneity so that you do not become bored with each other. Romance grows if you open yourself up to each other, do kind things for each other and try new things.



The second of the 10 biggest romance myths is that sexual pleasure is for the young and if you two have grown apart sexually over the years it's just natural.

The only reason for abstinence is physical illness. Those who have lost their sexual desires need to seek counseling to determine the root cause.

The third of the 10 biggest romance myths is that marriage and other long term relationships are more beneficial to men than they are to women. There are some understandable reasons for the start of this myth, when women began to understand their right to equality and some women found themselves happily leaving the home each day to enjoy a career. The fact is that for many women the marriage is their most important career, and they happily enjoy their husbands and their marriage.

Romance myth number four is that luck and sex are the keys to a long and happy personal partnership. This is far from the truth. Commitment to each other and the ability to be each other's best friend are the primary ingredients in successful long term relationships.

Myth number five about romance is that couples who live together before they get married to each other are able to find out how well they are suited for a life together and this will lead to greater likelihood of a happy marriage. Statistics don't bear this out. In fact, it seems that the opposite is true.

Myth number six is that the chances of people staying committed to one partner for a lifetime are lessened now that we live longer. Nowadays people are waiting longer to marry and then settling down at a later age. This tends to mean better choices as the partners are more mature when they commit.

The seventh of the 10 biggest romance myths is that unhappy people will become happy once they find that perfect mate. The fact is that unhappy people are unhappy, and generally are more apt to make their partners miserable than their partners are apt to resolve their unhappiness for them.

The eighth of the 10 biggest romance myths is that we can marry or make a long term commitment to someone and then change what we don't like about them. Rarely does this happen. All that happens is that the person who wants the partner to change gets frustrated and the person who is expected to change gets angry. Not a good recipe for marital harmony at all.

Myth number nine is that people simply fall out of love with their long term partners. What they're usually saying is the sex isn't as spicy and exciting as it used to be. That can be resolved. Infatuation doesn't stay forever, nor should it. Most marriages can be "saved" if both partners want to try.

The last of the 10 biggest romance myths is that people who are too different should divorce. It's far more likely that each partner is trying to make the other responsible for fulfillment of his or her needs, instead of working together to compromise and be each others' companions.