In order to find a solution, it is essential to make acknowledging the problem the very first step. While it would seem that this should "go without saying," you would be surprised at how many people miss it entirely, and try to rush headfirst into possible solutions without fully acknowledging what difficulties they are up against.



With this in mind, you can avoid the time-consuming, frustrating trap which too many fall into; and, instead, start at the beginning.

You can begin by asking yourself what problems you and your spouse are encountering. You will then know what difficulties need to be resolved, and what you wish to accomplish. A good way to go about this is to read through this book, and after you have thought about the topics contained within, get together with your spouse for a discussion. You can share your thoughts and feelings, and ask your spouse to share his or hers. Not only will this help in making progress toward finding solutions, it will also open up the lines of communication.

So, what kinds of problems are occurring in your marriage? Are you and your spouse losing touch with each other from basic lack of communication? Do you feel as if you are growing apart, and no longer feel as if you have an active place in each other's lives? Are there disagreements, or arguments, over such factors as money, jobs, children, and other people? Are you and your spouse considering a separation-- or, even worse, a divorce?

These, as well as most other factors which can cause a marital relationship to fall apart, can be resolved. You do not need a pile of "modern" books or other fads; and except in the most extreme cases, you do not need "couples counseling" or therapy. You can begin to put your marriage back together, reconstruct the joy that you both experienced at the beginning, and use both that initial joy and your mature experiences to make your marriage stronger and happier than ever!

After you have put some careful thought into acknowledging what problems you are confronting, it is also important to decide what you wish to accomplish. Do you want more quality time with your spouse? Do you want to be able to come to agreements, or respect for different stands, on various important issues?

One important point to keep in mind is that goals for a marriage are as individual as the people are individual. What this means is that what may be ideal for your friend or your sibling may not be so ideal for you and your spouse; unfortunately, it may also mean that what you want is not the same as what your spouse wants.

However, while the best time to have come to conclusions about the kind of marriage, goals and ideals that you both want was before you were married, even if you are just now encountering these differences it is never too late to resolve your differences and reach a common ground which you both should find acceptable.

Have you assessed the problem and discovered the specific difficulties which you are confronting? Have you put careful thought into deciding on the goals you wish to accomplish? Good for you! You have taken the first important steps! Your marriage is not only worth preserving and improving-- you can make it happier and stronger than ever!