We live in a culture that actively promotes an addictive mindset and a disbelief in the power of the individual to heal himself. You must escape this mindset if you are to end your trichotillomania. Often times outside voices, even when trying to be supportive, can trigger your self-doubt about being able to stop pulling. This self-doubt cannot only cause more hair pulling but it can cause you to lose faith in your ability to end your problem for good. This is why it's so important to create an authentically empowering support system.



Here are some tips to help you build the great support system you need and deserve:

1. Be very selective about sharing your goal to stop your trichotillomania. Distinguish your own thoughts and beliefs from those around you and from the culture in general. When I was healing my own hair pulling problem, I carefully monitored how much I told other people about my goal. I did this because I knew of no one who had healed him or herself. I thought that if I told anyone that I was working on this, I would sound silly. By keeping the details of my quest low key, I was more able to focus on success and keep the doubt of others from influencing me.

2. Seek out only those who can empower your desire to stop hair pulling. Although you may greatly hope that your loved ones can support you, you must also understand that only YOU have the power to heal yourself. If someone else doubts your ability to become pull free, guard your fresh beliefs boldly because they are crucial to protect. Remove yourself from people who may reinforce your fears or doubts.

People who love you often have a very difficult time supporting you when you try to change and grow. They may even unknowingly sabotage you because they fear that as you change, you may outgrow or abandon them. Have understanding and compassion for them, but stand firm in your own determination to get free.

Hair pullers have a difficult time trusting themselves entirely and are extremely susceptible to the energies and subtle emotional influences of others. Understand that any form of negativity or doubt directed your way can trip up your quest to heal.

3. Look for healers, doctors and counselors who have successfully come through their own healing process. These are the very best people to show you the ropes! The average doctor or psychologist may not really understand what you're trying to accomplish and are probably still trapped in the negative mindset of our culture. If they have not experienced hair pulling firsthand, nor undergone a healing journey, it is unlikely that they can effectively help you to get free.

Once you establish which people are not good for you to rely on, look for those who can offer great support without doubting your abilities. Look for people who have healed themselves because they can best help you in your own quest to be pull free.

4. Start your own support group geared solely on permanent healing. If you desire more truly supportive people in your life, set up a new kind of group, a "Healing Circle." Find an accessible place like a church, library, or community center where you can hold meetings. Meet at the same time each week for an hour and a half to two hours. Sit in a circle so members can feel connected with one another. Focus the group solely on healing materials. Read books by authors who "get" what the journey is about, such as Wayne Dyer, Shakti Gawain, Louise Hay, Gary Zukav and Carol Tuttle. Focus the discussion around the principles contained in these materials and how you can specifically apply them to your own lives.

5. Be respectful and don't proselytize! Set your ego aside when you step in the door. Challenge any person who claims to be a "guru," or puts their spin on the processes of other members. Firmly believe that each individual knows what is best for him or herself. While some may be a step or two further on the path, all members must take full responsibility to help themselves. Close each circle by turning to the person beside you and saying, "I fully support you in healing!" Know that this simple line can make a huge difference in all of your lives.

You don't need a large group. A support group can start with just two people who meet regularly. You can attract more people through advertising, putting up flyers, or by sending out email notices.

6. Above all, remain vigilantly focused on your desired outcome; complete and total freedom from hair pulling. Choose members who are doing their own healing work. Stay focused on healing. Don't let the discussion decline into commiserating about the problem or your feelings of being victimized. Keep the group on a positive path to avoid self-doubt or allowing old ways of thinking to resurface.

That's it. In taking these steps, you can build the exact support system that you need to heal and make a positive difference in the lives of many others!