What's the truth about love? Do you think relationships don't look the way they did in your parents' generation? In fact—does it seem they don't even look the way they did yesterday? When you recognize the five truths about love, you will be on your way to a stronger, more lasting relationship.



Many people feel overwhelmed by the fact that we live in a time when the marriage rate is going down, and well over half of first marriages will end in divorce. The cohabitation rate is going up, and the majority of first-born children are now born to unmarried parents. Those are the statistical realities of relationships today.

Somewhere, somehow, some people eventually do find each other. Not only that, but relationships have more promise than ever before, since we have more information and awareness than people had in years past. Relationships have an opportunity to be based on more than just wanting to get married, have a family, and be like everyone else.

Here are the five truths about love in this modern age. These are the qualities that support lasting love:

1. Mutual chemistry

This has always been part of the glue that holds a couple together. If it's not there, you can't make it happen, but when it is, it creates a compelling surge of emotion. However, if deeply held values are not honored, the chemistry can be transformed into rage and hostility. (Honesty, trust, and fidelity, are just a few values that must be present for most people.)

2. Equality

This means that both people carry their weight in the relationship. Each person has a high regard for the other. They do not seem out of balance as they bring their individual strengths to the partnership, sharing an equal intelligence, integrity, and responsibility.

3. Purpose

Every individual strives to discover what their purpose is and when they can share that with another, it's what keeps the relationship authentic. Both people mutually support each other in finding and doing their true work. If they don't support one another in their work, they may sabotage each other and their relationship.

4. Strong self-worth

Feeling worthy cannot be separated from mutual love. Until a person exercises deep personal care, they can't take loving care of another. With the necessity of having strong self-respect comes the awareness and responsibility that everyone also has a past to clean up. When couples have conflict, it often stems from old emotional wounds that have left the person with some holes in their growth. A healthy person gets the help they need to defuse the problem. And a healthy couple is committed to working out the relationship, whatever it takes.

5. Listening

Listening to one another is essential. It takes continual practice and is based on compassion. Listening is more than hearing each other's words. It encompasses also listening to and trusting your inner voice which will tell you when something is not quite right. In the new relationship, each person listens to themselves and to the other to make sure they are not just trying to be a "pleaser" because they do not want to jeopardize their connection. This kind of keeping the peace will eventually breed resentment and bitterness. This truth about love knows that there is something better than keeping the peace—it is called, deeply and lovingly hearing one another.

What are the main truths about love today? The truth is that we have a wider and braver landscape on which to build meaningful, enduring relationships. The truth about love is—you can find it, you get to keep it, and you deserve it.